Why In-N-Out is the Holy Grail of Fast Food

Top Five Reasons on why In-N-Out the Holy Grail of Fast Food

1. The 1950's vibes

In-N-Out feels half like a time machine and half like a fever dream. I haven't decided which yet, because I'm solely either there at 11am or 11pm. The iconic simple palm tree wall designs are unforgettable. They also have lovely paintings. The only thing they're missing is having the workers deliver you your food while roller-skating. 

2. Ridiculously cheap

In-N-Out is so insanely cheap that I couldn't even complain if the CEO of In-N-Out showed up and robbed me of $20. (Her name is Lynsi Snyder; Lynsi please don't rob me.) Forget the overpriced $15 per burger restaurants where they solely play hit songs from the 2010's. At In-N-Out, their most expensive burger is like $7. Don't forget about the $3 fries and $3 shake. 

3. Celiac inclusion 

As a person who will spontaneously explode if I eat gluten, In-N-Out is the sole Fast-Food place in which I can eat food and not get poisoned. They are very understanding and aware of cross-contamination and the fragile life cycle of a mere celiac such as myself. They will put "gluten allergy" on the receipts. The only thing that those who can't eat gluten can't have is the burger buns. Lettuce wrap (also known as protein style) is the way to go. Picture it: A juicy patty with melted cheese wrapped in crisp lettuce and an eloquent mystery sauce. Now have some salty fries and a vanilla shake with that too. 

4. Yummy food

Scrumptious food is an accomplishment for a Fast-Food chain that can somehow accommodate gluten allergies. Good thing Plankton only exists in Bikini Bottom, because then he'd likely attempt to steal their secret formula and In-N-Out would be rebranded under his dictatorship, and we'd all probably have In-N-Out buckets over our heads mind controlling us. (Please refer to the first Spongebob movie.) 

5. Free hats

If your head is cold, they give you a free hat. The workers are so wholesome. Pro tip: Go with a group of people, order food, and politely ask for In-N-Out hats. They will give you them. Proceed to take epic photo-ops with hats. Rebrand your group as "The In-N-Out Gang". Conquer the world. Spread the In-N-Out franchise across the world. Go forth. 

But don't eat.

Taste. 

Savor. 

In-N-Out needs you.