Venting 𐔌՞. .՞𐦯

I don't think I've been this sulcidal and genuinely depressed since 4th grade I feel so fucking alone I know my mom is mad and she doesn't want me anymore I'm more closer to being an adult so I'm gonna get kicked out probably I'm pathetic I don't really even deserve to grow into an adult I doubt I'd contribute anything good to society

I need a job I doubt I'm gonna get one though so I'm probably gonna end up doing porn or prostitution something like that I guess I need money though so it doesn't matter to me

I relapsed and starts sh'ing again so there's that

The only thing though is I hope my ed gets worse (っ- _ - ς) .ᐟ

I don't want to end it fat and ugly I'd rather go skinny and frail like an old person