He fucking broke up with me.

ISTG this always happens when i get into a relationship with a guy! I fall in love and then they call it off saying shit like "it would be better if we were just friends..." Like NO i dont want to be friends with you I LOVE you. I cannot continue to interact with you if we are not together, because it feels like torture. I dont even know if he ever actually loved me, or was just lying for my sake. I feel like its not a coincidence that he broke up with me right after he started talking to his groomer ex again....... 

I was crying so hard last night that the neighbors cat sneaked into my room to cuddle with me. He probably hasnt shed a single fucking tear. I fucking hate this. I loved this guy and i get that he doesnt want a relationship or whatever but he INITIATED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. Like BRO. Also there was no warning as well? like yesterday we were talking all day normally, then BOOM breakup. 

I feel used in a way, like i was only there to get the guy horny after he had his breakup. Like i was some sort of fucking ai chatbot or whatever, that only existed in the digital realm to please his insecure ass. 

God, i hate being gay, all my relationships with guys fall apart like wet tissue paper.