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Hey there, SpaceHey, it's •Beck•

And man oh man do I have a whirlwind of a story for y'all. It's not crazy or drama filled, it's just makes you go..."*tilts head* Say what?" And it's also just something that's been a huge part of my therapy journey, so there's that as well. So, if it doesn't seem like such a big deal to y'all...let's not invalidate other people's journeys, yeah?

Also this is a long one, so there will be a TL;DR at the end if you don't want the backstory and my rambling~

SO...a bit of background info on me: I was born without a Thyroid Gland! If y'all don't know what that is, Google is free and so is Wikipedia. Because of this, I have to limit some of the things that I eat on a regular basis because it can effect the way that my body absorbs my thyroxin medication. Like I can't have soy and products a lot (like once a month), I can't take high doses of certain vitamins, I have to watch which fish I eat due to iodine levels, etc.

Growing up, my parents watched what I ate enough cause, being ADHD as well, I tended to hyperfixate on certain foods for a while. Therefore, in order to prevent me from getting fixated on certain foods, my parents (specifically my mom) would just say that I couldn't have that because "It would mess up my thyroid levels." And being a naive child: I would believe them.

Now, 99% of the time they were right. Like with soy, certain fishes, etc. But sometimes, they would use that as a reason to not let me have certain foods and not have to come up with a, ya know, believable reason other than "because I said so" or "it's bad for you" (because we all know eating raw cookie dough is bad for us, but fuckit YOLO right?). They had an easy out, so they took it.

One of the things that they used this for was energy drinks. Things that I know are bad for me and I shouldn't want to drink, but as an emo child going to high school in the mid/late 2000's...wanted to drink because all my friends were drinking them. However, I had no reason to think that my parents were lying to me when they said that they are bad for me because, yet again, "thyroid levels".

Fast forward to this year when all my friends were talking about getting back into emo/scene culture again because fuckit, pandemic and they started talking about drinking energy drinks like Monster again. We got into a convo about what my favorite flavors were, I told them I didn't have one because I can't drink them due to my thyroid, and when they asked me what it affected about my levels, I looked it up and was gobsmacked when I found out that they, in fact, don't fuck with my levels...and that my whole reasoning was based on a fucking lie.

Now, I shouldn't drink them because of my aforementioned tendency to hyperfixate on foods and the fact that I take ADHD meds and have most of my life. But see, here's the thing...if that was the case...why let me have any highly caffeinated beverages at all like espresso? Cause lemme tell y'all: I love me a Venti Iced Coconut Milk Chai Tea Latte with Two Shots. And I got into coffee in late high school early college. It was only energy drinks that were banned from my house!

So, long rant shortened, I went out, tried some Monsters, and now I'm incorporating them slowly into my life. Because even though, again, I know that they are bad for me...I still want to, at least, try them.

But the thing that I'm mostly pissed off about is why lie about that shit? Why come up with some half baked excuse to not let your kid have them when I was mature enough to have the reason of "they're bad for you" or "you can't mix them with your ADHD meds". Like those I get and would've gotten as a teen! PLUS, they became this mythical beverage that I couldn't have that seemed to be really cool that now that I know I can have them...that's all I wanna drink! My parents essentially created the same situation that's created with alcohol that spawned underage drinking problems!! It's forbidden...so I wanna do it!

Anyways, moral of the story kids: Don't (poorly) lie to your children just so they don't do something. Just tell them the fucking truth. They can take it.

– – –

TL;DR: My parents lied to be about why I couldn't have energy drinks. Found out about the lie. Got a bit mad about it. Tried them and now I think they're a fun treat.

Thanks for sticking around until the end if you did. I know it was long, but honestly I had a lot to say. And as for how this is part of my therapy journey? Well, let's just say that I have internalized a lot of archaic shit my parents told me as a way to control me and I am breaking free of those chains day by day.

Hope y'all have a great weekend!

~ Beck ~

* Question 4 U *

What's something that you've always wanted to try (food or drink wise) that you can't cause of a glitch in your human flesh prison (i.e. allergies, missing organs, medications, etc)?