bored

is anyone else just like.....bored asfk ? like to the point where doing things that used to cure that boredom doesn't even help it anymore ..... hm....

i used to play roblox like all the time to cure that boredom but these days i just quit after like 3 minutes bc .......... i mean im 19 so i can't rly deal w dat #lol

video games also bore me for some reason which grinds my gears  bc i LOVE video games. making music is another thing that i really enjoy but it's not boring nor fun, it's kinda in between. that genuinely hurts my soul because it's been my only passion for years atp and it should be the very thing that makes me really happy.

i've been bored since i unfortunately quit my job back in march. unfortunately bc i was under a lot of pressure and didn't even feel comfortable working there so i just had to go. fortunately bc i'm not dreading my life every morning.

in this climate, and i'm not sure why, it's been extremely hard to actually land a job. i mean shit...i apply for a job like every single week atp and Nothing! like dude. i have debt to pay......places to go.....things to buy......things to set up.........i need Money  Now. i've missed pretty much every concert i was looking forward to thanks to this bullshit Okay..

my family and i were supposed to move to florida like every year since 2021 but my mom is never able to find work. in May we were SO CLOSE but they needed her down there like tomorrow and yk....realistically? that's near impossible. whatever. i miss Florida . i was born there, so obviously i don't like to deal with the bullshit that goes on in nyc(hitty).

i can't get a job in nyc because everyone needs a job which means no one is Actually hiring bc everyone is Hired. i do not want to work at mcdonald's. i actually got hired earlier this month but i was told my personal needs for a schedule don't matter and like......i have to get my siblings from school every evening. no one else can do that but me. that's ridiculous.. i terminated the contract a day before i was supposed to start onboarding.

and this brings me back to my point of being BORED!!!!!!! i can't do anything here without Money!

• i can't get on the train to go to the city
• i can't go out and watch a movie or something
• i can't even take a walk in my own area bc this shit is DEPRESSING  !!!!!

even with my mom's 6-figure salary i can't ask her for money cuz she never has any oomfggggfgfhdaaefirfnuttottrre. 

this could be a case of my annual summertime depression and i'm probably overreacting idk i always start feeling happier in late september......anyway i'm tired of being bored so i'm just gonna move back to florida next year peace