A New Day 7/30/25

Started: 7:06am
I have been awake for a few hours, woke up at 4 something. I was supposed to sleep call with my friend, Havoc, last night, but my medication made me too tired and I fell asleep before we could call. I feel bad, I hope my friend understands. I'm sitting on call with another friend now, listening to him geek out about random things. Both my dog and my grandma's dog is laying beside me, resting. I can't see through my window because of the wet, humid weather in the mornings, but the sunrise is still pretty. I'm getting new cat paw slippers soon, they're a khaki color. Very cute. I want a cat so bad, honestly. But unfortunately, my mother hates them. Anyway, I haven't got more to say so far. Hopefully I make more friends on here




10:28am
I am now moderating a friends twitch stream while they play Genshin Impact. I'm not a huge fan of the game, but I wouldn't say no to them asking. I've been watching for about an hour and a half. They haven't gotten much engagement, but I'm glad I can be here to support them. After this stream is over, I plan on cleaning up some and then taking a shower. Hopefully by then, my friend Havoc will be online and I can talk to him.

5:56pm

I'm typing this on my way to church since we're running late. These past few hours, I spent my time cleaning, beefing and debating with people online, and taking a shower. My heart rate went up to 141 while I was in a resting position in bed. This is because I got pretty pressed over some rude, bitter woman being hypocritical and just distasteful in general. This isn't the first time she'd acted like this either. She's had issues with almost everyone in our server. Notice a pattern? Anyway, my friend, Havoc, was her crush and what not and he had and still has no interest in her. He tried to let her down slowly, he flat out rejected her, and she's still been acting like some possessive, obsessive bitter woman. I've become beyond tired of her bullshit and wish they'd ban her already, but Havoc made a promise years ago not to ban anyone. Hopefully she fucks off somewhere and leaves us all alone. Her possession toward Havoc irritates me beyond ways I can explain not only because he's my friend and close to me, but because he's a really sweet person and doesn't deserve that. He's been nice to me countless of times and gotten me to express what I usually can't. I am grateful for his presence in my life and hope to stay in his. Anyway, back on the church subject, I didn't really wanna go today. I feel feverish and sick. I'm not particularly religious, but I have to go. I'm not one to disrespect a religion, so it doesn't bother me too much, just sometimes I wish every answer wasn't "talk to god about that" or "get right with god and fear him, for he is coming" like it's literally just the start of my life and I'm already being filled with paranoia that if I do something wrong I'll be sent to suffer for eternity. I just don't think fear is a good way to teach a lesson. Could just be me. Honestly, Havoc and his friends are the nicest Christian's I've ever met. I'm not saying all are bad, but here in the south, they're mean. Anyway, I don't think I have much more to talk about. I've just about yapped my soul away for the time being. I'll update once I'm out of church

10:22pm
I'm finally home and in bed and I'm sitting on call with my friend while we talk about our day. My heart rate stayed up and is still up at 105 while I'm laying in bed. The highest it got was 153. Not sure why, I was just shakey and stuff. It wasn't pleasant. After I ate a banana, i got nauseous and had to step outside. After church, I got a water melon coconut bubble tea with brown sugar jelly. Anyway, I'm too tired to type anymore. Casper, logging off for the night!