˚꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ˚

HAII!! If you read my silly little poem then THANK YOU SO MUCHHH!! I hope many alike people are able to reasonate with this! ( ◡̀_◡́)ᕤ⟡ ݁⊹ ݁

As someone who's constantly overthinking even the smallest things on a daily basis, I feel as though this "skill" which people outwardly view as being "thorough" can sometimes, in a way, resemble an illness. I can't control the fact that little things make me anxious, so anxious in fact, that doing simple tasks can become overwhelming and difficult. And I am well aware that not every outcome is in my control, yet still i end up dragged by my own self conscience over and over again. It's a rigorous cycle of self loathing and spite. Once you become aware of something, wether it be all the alarming problems going on in the world, or realizing your own imperfections, it can become painfully difficult to manage on a day to day basis, for now that you understand these issues, you are bound to constatnly be in search of a solution.

But to look for these sollutions, for issues out of your own hand, is simply impossible. But how can you not attempt to when the overwhelming guilt of being useless and unhelpful overcomes you? You then blame everything on yourself, for who else could? Only the one who is aware of their wrong doings, is able to shame themselves afterall. And to be aware of the entire world's wrong doings? It's like carrying the entire world's burdens on your own two unriped shoulders. It's self destructive, painfull, and torturous, but you can't just "unaware" yourself. It's like a permament mark on your tombstone. You know, now you shall suffer for it.

Sometime's I find myself wishing there were things I never came to know nor understand, because once I had understood those things, I couldn't stop myself from spiralling into this maddening decent of anxiety and self torture. Society too, punishes you for knowing too much, because to it, only those who are dumb, stupid and unquestionably obedient are usefull. Those who live their life in blissfull ignorance, unaware of the world's hardships, unaware of the people's cries and unaware of their own desires, will hapily walk along and follow whatever they be told. To have a free will however, one must sacrifice happiness a whole. To be free means you are able to go against the entire world and stand alone; only you are able to discover the truth. But to be happy, one must accept submission and move along. Only when you follow in society's footsteps and quietly do as you say, will society praise and reward you. That is the only way you can live in comfort and luxury, I suppose.
(⸝⸝ᴗ﹏ᴗ⸝⸝) ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

𓂃 ࣪⋆🍥˚ ༘