Empathy doesn't mean endurance

It's not always a good idea to be in constant distress over everything. Yes, the world is a mess and people suffer but by not giving your mind space to reflect, you may accidentally overlook solutions that either may be right in front of you or can be found with research. 

I remember this girl I used to be good friends with, she was trans and would constantly panic about the things trans people go through which I understood but overtime I began to notice it began to chip away badly at her mental health. One day, I tried nicely to say "hey, maybe you could chill out a bit?" and she freaked out at me immediately. At the time, I wasn't sure how to explain why I told her to do so, so I didn't know what to say. It ended with her blocking me. I worry about her to this day.

Now as an adult, I had that moment to reflect and think about what instinct caused me to say what I did and I remembered how I had always faced atrocities for my gender as a child and had a phase where misogyny was the subject of my mind 24/7. I would often overreact, scream at my friends for even the smallest of jokes, find myself talking to very toxic women who only wanted to use me cuz I wanted to be a "girl's girl", it ate at me. I realized, I was hyperfocusing on the emotional effect of the issue but wasn't thinking how to solve it.

It wasn't until I started being closer to male friends I realized the solution was right in front of me, I was just too busy sitting in my own misery to realize. From then on, I developed my mindset more and became the girl I am today. It takes time, don't stress out all at once.

People underestimate the sheer effect stress can have on their reasoning skills, what's more is the risk of a bad actor manipulating this stress for their own gain. Like for example, the raids of black businesses during BLM riots. Panic and pain can cloud your judgement.

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