Mini story part 5-how I feel about Summer

Week 4-it brought moments of joy and connection as I ventured outside , communicated , and felt genuinely happy.For a fleeting moment, it seemed like I was breaking free from the Summer sadness pandemic . However the realisation that my rank in the educational system is known, shattered that illusion. It seemed that everytime people's sentence starters seem to be centered around GCSE's. They used it as an icebreaker but did they know it would break my sanity instead.

Yes,I did say the thought didn't consume me anymore but I admit I am actively trying to drift away from it by filling my schedule with work and responsibilities.However only did I know that it would be harmful either way as they feel made up, only used as distractions from the main issue, running from it. In fact now that i think about it I haven't achieved any earth shattering feats and along with those happy moments is a sense of unfinished business of things I wish I would have done differently,or perhaps, even done at all.

The pre results day period is gut wrenching in a weird way.I find myself caught between the carefree advice to" enjoy your summer" and the looming question of" will I get accepted into my college?"This week was a blur of trying to soak up the last rays of sunshine while simultaneously preparing for the shift into a new season.

I am for sure greatful of the beautiful family time I am having , decorating the new house feels like truly starting afresh .However I am aware that the next month of August approaching is going to be way more serious.

The paradox is this:I'm trying to relax to savor the last moments of summer, all while knowing the clock is ticking