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I’ve been having a lot of trouble with sin lately, I’ve done a FUCKTON of research on my religion and its legitimacy (Christianity) though I know that in itself may put me in hot water since it’s all about faith, the way my soul works is I crave knowledge and have to know what I’m praising isn’t just yknow, made up. In the end though I believe the contents of the Bible and GOD himself are definitely real, and even knowing this I’m so inclined to sin no matter how much I fight it? I won’t lie I haven’t been reading my bible or praying at all because it feels like such a betrayal to sit and beg for forgiveness to then go and do it again or just have the mindset of “I can just pray later so fuck it”.Â
I know the answer to all of this would be to just stop sinning and devote myself to the word but it’s so hard, I won’t make excuses but it’s hard for me to even read without losing interest so the Bible has been difficult in itself, but praying is so hard because it feels like I’m never going to truly change, and because of that I won’t be getting a response.Â
I have had experiences as well that have shown me the legitimacy of god, not many dreams or visions but more so things like me going “God if you’re here do ___” And it’ll happen, though I guess it could’ve just been chance lol but I choose to believe he was there for me.
I’m rambling though, basically I really haven’t felt his presence lately at all and wanted to know if anyone had tips or something like that to help me focus on not sinning and make it easier to go back even if I do sin?! :)
thanks for reading ~ s7ns
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Romy A Paole
Not a christian nor a devoted religious girl at all actually, however I am Jewish and I have my own experiences. I’ll share mine, hopefully it’ll help you.
My grandfather RIP was a big Rabbi. Close family is not religious but I grew up in this environment, I eat Kosher etc.
In Judaism we have a principle of “Do not practice prayer if you are not doing this from your heart”. Better not pray if that’s fake. God knows it, feels it, and hates it. Also, you should LOVE God. Not FEAR God. I had a time in my life when I was a teenager, I felt bad for doing Sinful things. At some point, suicidal even. This is where I understood that God doesn’t want that for me. It doesn’t want me to be miserable like that. It wants me to be the best I can. Nobody is perfect. Even the most “perfect” people you know. They have darkness. This was when I decided to step back. I kept on with my Kosher and all, but I let myself breathe. Stopped feeling guilty about everything that makes me human. Explore the world and come back to God on my terms. And when I came back, it felt wonderful.
See, God loves the people who doubt and search. There is no shame in thinking about this. Lots of people of religion are talking about that really calmly.
You can even consult with them about that, they will give you their piece of mind.
Religion is a belief, at the end if the day.
Knowledge is good, pushing humanity forward (or backwards, sometimes). It’s okay.
Just don’t feel shame about it, shame keeps the peace and completeness away.
Young-Ii
I am not christian, so take this with a grain of salt, but even the most holy of men have sinned because we are human. God created you with the knowledge that you would sin, but continues to love you regardless, I think that’s the beauty of it, that forgiveness is possible as long as you repent and turn to him. I think he knows and understands your heart or something, if anyone would get how you feel it would probably be him. As for a lack of presence I can’t say much as it’s something I have never felt, but I would imagine maybe there are just other people who need him more right now, and he knows from your learning and of course belief that you’ll be okay for the time being
Thanks this actually help a lot! :)
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Im glad! :)
by Young-Ii; ; Report