Protect Your Peace

this is a tangent from what ive been doing recently because my fyp on YT is now all just "the internet has gotten worse" "things are getting bad" and so on. but i couldnt agree more but at the same time have my own opinions that say otherwise.

the internet since its conception has been way more complex than we thought it was, its had its edgy era's outright goofy, funny as f*ck and even now the fuel of rage. the thing is, all if not everyones online now but in the most crucial years of the younger generation (EXPECIALLY GENZ) grew up on the internet and hadnt know life bfore it  while millenials had the chance to mature before the internet and then getting into it id say teen years/early 20s. 

i remember in 2011 watching "funny complation" videos of cats being cute, dogs doing silly things and finding it the funniest thing ever, 2015 i remeber learning about these "super edgy!!" creators online who would make "super scary, not for kids" horror vids, learning all about creepy pastas and doing little dances on musically.

then in lockdown even when everything went t*ts up i found enjoyment online. i dont need to go too deep on how lockdown effected people because we all know how many lives were lost, distrust, controversys and frustraition came from it.

were all starving for finding something to cling onto, like traumatised kids who need something to distract us from the very thing we ran away from by going online, reality. real life can be amazing, theres so many things to do like going theme parks, sleeping over at a friends, partys, going shoping, rock climbing and skating n so on. but real life can be terrifying, like disease, fammine, domestic abuse, wars. 

"so what do we do now? is the internet ever going to be a safe space again? will everything just become a  endless cycle."  

no, i dont think it will. think about what i said about real life, theres so many bad things but theres also so many good things, you need both to have harmony. and when your stuck being exposed to the doom and gloom you somehow found away to harness your own peice. now i wont lie there will be plenty of instances its an unhealthy dynamic. but nothing is a pure ideal of "good" or a pure ideal of "bad".

the internet tought you at a young age to love what you love but as you got older you were tolled to go on the defence, that your guard must ALWAYS be up. but it really dosnt have to be. i belive, by protecting your peace, doing what you love and enjoy that are not self destructive is you on the offence. you cant bottle up your joy because at the end of the day youve done what you thought the world would do to you. trap you in an inescapable prison till the day you die.


your going to get hurt, thats the truth, your going to be pushed around, bullied and misstreated. but your also going to be seen, your going to be loved, your going to experience new things, your going to add more to what makes you, you. protect your peace, allow yourself to change and grow.

sometimes you will make mistakes and think your doing the right thing but thats ok! you can learn from this. ive had my fair share of mistakes, ive belived n trusted people who didnt have my best interests at heart but that dosnt negate the fact ive met people who love me and help me to flourish.

"how do i protect my peace???? how do i change" 

when you let yourself try something new youll start taking the steps to changing to who you want to be, you cant run till youve stumbled atleast once. so try something new! creative crafts are a form of expression so how can YOU express yourself? for me i like to draw, i love coding and reading. i go swimming to reflect on my mind and keep my body happy, i try baking! im not the best at it but i love making cookies. hell i even play games!!! fashion is always going to be one of my fave forms of expression.

how can YOU change your life for the better? you could get into your local community, block and delete things online that are doing you no good, if you push back there will be change i assure you. fight for whats right, support and uplift those around you. try therapy!! talk about your problems. shared pain is pain halfed. 

this year ive grown so much, ive let myself learn what my body needs, what my mind needs and what my life needs. without showing kindness even to those who would spit on my generousity i found my own tranquility. i picked myself up and dusted myself off cuz the show must go on!!!

you dont need to cut your time short in this world, theres always an upside. theres always some who cares, because you will care. you yourself know you deserve so much better. self love starts with letting yourself feel how you feel, then letting yourself build back up till you can keep your chin high and scream out, your still here, your still breathing, your heart will not stop beating.



（//･_･//) phooeyy that was a long one, BUT! i feel better after gettin it all out. lotsa spellin errors errrr WOOPSIE