☆¿Fight or Flight?☆

Fight or flight-it's such a weird response, especially when you know there's more to it than just those two.

There might be five, but to me, there's always been one.

Flight, run, run far away from what's happening; if it's gone, you can't be scared anymore; if it's gone, it doesn't exist anymore; and god, did I not want to exist anymore?

If I ran so far from my problems, I'd swear I had run around the earth more than once.

If I ran so far, did I not exist anymore? Did I drop off the face of the earth like a tear running off my chin?

Or did I run for so long that now my legs feel like they can't run?

I can't run from my problems, so if I can't run, I'll have to face them, and Lord knows what happens when I face them.

I shut down as if my marathon has finally come to an end.

My marathon that I have been running in for 15 whole years is finally ending.

The relief doesn't hit me; I am only hit with the face of anxiety.

What do I do now?

The only thing I've been doing, my whole life's purpose, is over.

I can't leap over hurdles of unwanted confrontation and pain; I can't run.

My flight has been canceled as if my plane crashed.

I can't run.

As if they needed to check my bag for suspicious items.

I can't run.

As they open my bag, all my problems, all my anger, fear, and sadness, are packed into one bag.

I can't run.

My plane has denied me access, as if all my problems couldn't fit in the plane.

I'm reminded of all the things that have led up to this moment.

All the lies and screams of the past finally crash into me.

The unfinished symphony that is my body soaks up all the words that couldn't be said.

Now, with that being said...

Fight? or Flight?

my wattpad full of my poetry, im gonna rewrite them here anyway