now he shows up?!?

[thu 24 july, 01:48]

i took a break from instagram. i set an app timer of like 10 minutes incase i needed to text anyone and it reset this midnight. i get the notification that lucky finally looked at all the things ive sent him. but i wont budge. i said i would quit instagram, so now that he decides to show up i wont break so easily. i need this break. 

im also starting to worry alot about the date of my vacation. my mother is barely sharing any details and is being very vague and pessimistic. it doesnt help me at all. i just want to go back home and see my family and friends. if we dont go, it will be my second year away from my friends and grandparents, havent i waited long enough already? id rather be there already. i promised them i would be back. its not like i can just run away and go on my own either. its so restraining, so unfair. i get it, there are logistical problems and other bs but gosh have some enthusiasm! dont tell me "idk you tell me!" when i ask you when were going back. those people are like my lifeline rn and im so close yet so far from getting to see them again. ugh... i just hope everything will be okay.

just a short one today. i am trying not to care about lucky sooo yeah :/