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I always wanted an actual blog but I've been afraid all this time about who will see. spacehey seems like a good enough place: I don't personally know anybody here and I can still practice being a 'public person' where people know my thoughts on whatever.
Today I will be starting my journey with some cleaning up. I've been in a rut for sometime. I think it has to do with the summers. When I'm at college I get 3 solid meals a day, hit the gym 5-6 times a week, and get to play kickass music with my kickass friends. While my college is only an hour's train ride away, it's far too expensive to get out there so I'm kind of just stuck. Being in New York is probably one of the better places a young person can be stuck between the other young people, the parties, the music, etc. There's always something to do here, it's too bad I can't really get it together enough to really enjoy it.
I'm not depressed, I've known what I feel like when I'm depressed and this is far from that. I think I've just been unregulated and distracted. I wake up late, skip a meal to get to my job, come home, ignore my schoolwork, doomscroll for a few hours then go to bed and repeat. I always feel like I need to be doing something productive so this cycle has felt like a a real betrayal to myself and it generates a lot of shame. I'm going to finally stop all this today, and perhaps it'll stay that way with some practice:
Digital Detox
The largest action I will take will be deactivating my Instagram account. It's a small concession really, but I have to accept I will be left out of the loop on lots of stuff and I will lose connection with the friends I primarily interact with online. My attention is worth this to me.
I will also stop texting; rather, I will pay less attention to my texts. I've never really understood texting etiquette to begin with. Just because I can receive and read your messages does not mean I can respond to them in the same moment. I often find the pressure to text leads to lots of rushed thinking anyways.
Lastly, I will remove music streaming from my phone. My spotify catalogue is too extensive so I will delete the app. As for apple music, I will be disabling cellular data and sticking with my collection of ripped mp3s. I don't like this music as much, but it holds more value having to track down a release I might've never heard before, encode the proper metadata, and find album covers and lyrics for. This is a labor of love even for music I don't really like: not as financially burdening as vinyl but not as convenient as streaming.
Lastly, I'll be reading Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport. While I've thought about digital minimalism for a long time and I've known how insidious digital consumption can be, I rarely do anything of substance about it. This book will complement the actions listed to take my attention back.
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kiko!
good on you!! glad that you are doing this for yourself. I think everyone should be doing this!!