quite the film-watching spree...

at the end of may, i watched nosferatu with my class and enjoyed it a lot. i saw my friend arianna logging it on letterboxd, and remembered that i, too, have a letterboxd account! i started logging a few movies i'd watched recently, and went down a letterboxd rabbit hole. i saved SO. MANY. MOVIES. to my watchlist.

i watched several over the next few weeks before i lost steam... i still want to watch a lot of films, plus some tv shows... so here are my reviews for a few of the movies i watched! 

warning: spoilers!!

i'm a cyborg, but that's ok - 4.5/5

the strangeness of this film meant that scenes could be funny and heart-wrenching at the same time, and it felt just right. that is how life is portrayed in i'm a cyborg, but that's ok: confusing, hilarious, and wracked with pain, with great potential for love and connection. the characters were so endearing and well-written. the film explored mental illness in a way best described as genuine - while not inaccurate, it did not lean too heavily on facts or accuracy, and allowed the characters' emotions and experiences to take centre stage. 

i also appreciate that, in a romcom with mentally ill main characters, the plotline wasn't 'love fixes mental illness'. what helped young-goon eat again wasn't romantic love - it was somebody finally understanding her and meeting her where she is. young-goon and il-soon's mental illnesses don't detract from their love, and their love doesn't fix their mental illness. they're just two people who love each other in a unique and necessary way.

visually super charming and wes anderson-esque. 

asteroid city - 4/5

speaking of wes anderson...

as is typical of wes anderson, it was gorgeous. the colours, the set, the costumes, were a perfectly 1950s technicolor dream. as well as being emotionally impactful and (right up my alley) super meta, it was a really fun watch! people say it was self-indulgent but that's part of the fun. if you like anderson's style, you'll like asteroid city.

one review i read interpreted the movie to be a sort of metaphor for the covid-19 pandemic. something crazy happens that changes your life, and the world, forever, and when it's over you're left with no explanation or closure - just the aftermath. i think this is very interesting. it also works as a grander metaphor for life, which is meaningless and random. there is no point trying to make sense of what's happening or why it's happening. at times, the movie feels like it has 'holes'. some sort of conclusion, something that feels like it should be expanded more. this is represented by the crater. but in life, that hole is never filled because life isn't a story where things make sense. you just have to release your expectations and let it wash over you.

harold and maude - 5/5

this was so incredible. it's a movie about embracing life and living in a way that fulfils you. if you live a fulfilling life, you'll have no reason to fear death. this message is shown in the scene where harold and maude meet. they are both at a funeral, as they share a fascination with death: harold because he feels deeply unloved and is not truly living his life, maude because she sees death as a natural and beautiful conclusion to the beautiful and enthralling experience that is life.

we fear death, but without death, there is no life. many people - like harold's mother in the movie - care more about their image than actually being fulfilled. these people fear and ignore the darker parts of life, because it reminds them that they are not actually living. in the film, everybody is repulsed and confused by young harold's relationship with an older woman. but it is that 'age gap' that shows the union between life and death; youth and age; happiness and sadness.

also, i totally wasn't expecting any part of that ending. i'm not a film buff, so i don't watch films analyzing them to predict what will happen at the end. i was caught off guard by the tragedy of it, but it is so beautiful and fitting for the movie's message. we see maude's wonderful, vivid life come to an end. and we see harold's life begin.

pearl - 4/5

that monologue!!!! the end credits!!!! INCREDIBLE. mia goth is unbelievably talented. her portrayal of pearl was one of the best parts of the film. what i want to talk about are the themes of sacrifice, the american dream, and mother-daughter relationships.

i haven't seen x or maxxxine, but the line "i will not accept a life i do not deserve", from x, lives at the heart of pearl. it also appears in the background of pearl on a protestor's poster. pearl is the daughter of immigrants who sought and achieved the 'american dream'. they were successful farm owners, and they - chiefly pearl's mother - sacrificed everything to get there. but pearl was born into a different time, and she wants more from life. to pearl's mother, who worked herself to the bone and always put herself last to attain a good life for her family, pearl's ambitions are selfish. this is a common mother-daughter dynamic, especially with immigrant families.

when pearl murders her family (and superman), she is refusing a life on the farm; a life she feels she doesn't deserve. but pearl is doomed, by tragedy, by poverty, by the claws of the american dream sunk deep into her family, and she is forced to return to the farm. by the end, she is relegated to a life she hates. it reminds me of the end of a quote by bonnie burstow: "this collusion does not save the daughter from the mother's fate." 

repulsion - 4.5/5

FUCK ROMAN POLANSKI!!!!! it's insane to me that this brilliant film about a sexually abused woman's trauma and terror was made by ROMAN. POLANSKI.

anyway, catherine denevue is an amazing actress. she portrayed carol's fear, and also her blankness, so well. thanks to the camera work and the music, the mundane is made ominous at the beginning of the movie, reflecting how wrong day-to-day life feels when you are suffering in a world that doesn't notice or believe your pain. because of carol's beauty, her mental illness is easily dismissed as 'quirkiness'. 

that brings me to the theme of decay. carol's psychological decay is depicted not only through denevue's acting, but the decay of her physical environment. the crack in the wall grows wider. the potato sprouts until it is overgrown. flies buzz, clocks tick, the bathtub overflows. the rabbit rots and festers. it is neglect - just as carol's mental state has been neglected by everyone in her life. she is obviously unwell, but again, every other character is dismissive. what could truly be wrong with a beautiful young woman? the end of the film is the most harrowing. it's a potential glimpse into what made carol so 'crazy' to begin with. the hatred in her eyes is plain. it was always clear that carol was suffering, but as often happens with mentally ill women, she was ignored and dismissed until it was too late.

lots of good stuff... i also watched some bad horror movies with my friends, a lot of old barbie movies, kpop demon hunters, and as for tv shows? i've been rewatching lockwood & co for comfort, as well as watching all sorts of stupid reality tv. goodness knows why i'm watching that instead of my long watchlist.

some movies i want to watch this summer are:

• the taste of tea
• summer 1993
• the watermelon woman
• mulholland drive
• i saw the tv glow
• moonlight
• a summer at grandpa's
• blue

and some tv shows i really want to watch come autumn are:

• twin peaks (I NEEEED TO WATCH TWIN PEAKS. i genuinely can't believe i haven't watched it yet. i've been fighting demons not to watch it for months because i want to wait until fall.)
• true detective
• house md (i've seen season one but that's it)

and that's about it! does anyone have any thoughts on the movies, or recommendations for tv shows or films? please let me know, i'd love to talk about this! i'm trying to get better at analyzing films because i'm taking a film studies class in september. speaking of, i'm going to go tour my campus now! super excited! 

thanks for reading :3