HE'LL GIVE US WHAT WE NEED IT MAY NOT BE WHAT WE WANT (+ news)

I feel so much pain and adrenaline, so much regret every day. That's why I managed to cook up another 10-track masterpiece this quickly. You've never heard anything like this before, you gotta listen to it. 

ANTAGONIST by Sonic4

This album could be considered Hxppy Thxughts 4, or 5? I don't even know anymore. It's another SNC album because my life is never getting better. It will show you the highs and lows, the loud euphoric and rage driven moments to lewd fantasies, romance to heartbreak, conflicted morals, ego death. Everything I'm in it.

I'm so sure that you are not going to understand this album. Nobody fucking understands how I'm feeling like even if I say it to their faces straight up. Same old words are repeated because nothing changes for the better. I could live off of my old quotes and tweets forever.

"I need to die right now" and "I hate you all" is my famous catchphrases but it never becomes reality. My ""community"" is dead and I'm staying over at Alice's server, which became like my new home. Nothing bad happened in Alice98 Test Records. That place is like a nice cottage in the middle of some field. Away from the city life and negativity. 

My place however, it's like a haunted abandoned mansion that hooligans come to smoke, drink, and graffiti. Even if there isn't anyone I hate there, I feel unsafe there. Just like The Shining, when something bad happens, it leaves a trace behind. Like burned toast. So many bad things happened in my server that generations will feel the emotional consequences. WE cannot recover from that.

I need peace in my life. Even though, technically, nothing happens, the distortion runs through my veins. No matter what I do, the anger never calms down. My head and heart hurts all the time. I still believe friendship is greater than all, but y'all know that there's no hope when it comes to that either. There's like 5 people in my small circle and like only 1 or maybe 2 is with me.

When will life get better? Never. It will never get better. Since January it was settled in place. The game never ends, the luck never comes, all of the "happy" moments are a temporary distraction from the harsh reality. I got no life, I'll admit. I'm better than y'all materialistically and literally but mentally and socially, I might be worse than y'all.

My unending anger and pain hurts me and others. I'm brittle like a rose. I can hurt you, but I'm a flower in the end. I need growth too. Ugh, all of these words are meaningless. I can't recognize myself anymore. I don't even know if anyone is listening to me. That's why it sucks.

Every album I drop, I wish it was the last. It's all just a false hope that's gonna make me angry. My excitement turns to anger because no one gives a shit. I feel unoriginal because I keep saying the same things every tweet and blog post.

I'll just stop typing here. Bye.

news and shit:

The Careborn wanted me to DELETE his albums from motherfucking VaultKid, while barely talking to me. Like, I get that you don't wanna remember the past, but seriously, what did I do to you? I thought we were good friends. You kept my friends but not me. Why?

I did this from the kindness of my heart. I hope you reconsider things. I'm still angry that I deleted your stuff from VaultKid, that's like rewriting history. I will shout to everyone tho.

LIFE ISN'T LIVING

GRAVE FOR $499.99

DEAD ME

AGONY

HELP

REVIVE THEN DIE

The albums above were deleted. If you wanna listen to them, go to The Careborn's youtube channel and find it yourself.

I won't make a goodbye paragraph.