If you care enough

I don’t know why I’m even writing this in the first place. All of this just feels like some big cry for attention. If anyone even reads this shit show of a post know that things will get better for you, unfortunately I’m one of those people you hear that don’t ever see that hope again. I don’t know why I complain about my situation, why I even try to talk to anyone about my problems when there are people worse than me, i am the pinnacle of selfishness and I am nothing more than the bad that people say about me. 

Why do I even say all of this? Maybe it’s because I never really had anyone to parent me until now and now my supposed “father” wants to act like everything’s ok when he wasn’t in my life for almost the entire time I’ve been living. There physically? Sure. Mentally and emotionally? Not even a single fucking chance. But I shouldn’t be complaining about my dad not being there emotionally and mentally because he’s an alcoholic, when others don’t even know their dad or even seen them a single time. If most people that I know knew who I really am I don’t think they would even bother to look the other way. Much less even feel any remorse or sympathize with me. If people knew I was bi, if people knew who I love, if people knew what I want to be and look like I wouldn’t be any more than those tragic hate crimes where people end up dying because of who they are and someone else doesn’t like that. 

Sorry for anyone who genuinely read this, this is just a selfish cry out because I don’t have anyone who would sit here and even listen.

Know that you will be more than I will ever be, something great.