Why didn't I see you

Where were you when I was in the ICU? 

I was already stressed, you knew it. Yet you let me take that bus. You let me leave the moving truck and get on the bus to the rink. To a new rink, in a new country.

I was in a rush, I was upset, I was stressed, I was emotional. 

I got on that ice, I skated. I didn't check to see if my skates were properly tied. I didn't even think much about how slippery the ice was. 

But before long, I was getting overconfident, too engrossed in the art of skating, too distracted by the need for familiarity. And I fell.

I remember the take off into the air, the intro had me screwed up from the beginning, it was rushed. But then I remember slowing down, time slowing as I rotated in the air, the intake of a breath, like my body knew before I did that I was going down. Then darkness. Like a flip of a switch. The lights were out. The air knocked out of my lungs.

I remember the sound of skates coming to a sharp stop towards me, the barely shadows of people hovering over me, the air suddenly felt a lot colder than I remembered.

I felt like I was on one of those spinning things of the playground, but my body was the only thing spinning and my vision stayed in one place.

Then darkness.

The sound of boots and wheels rushing toward me on the ice. Barely audible voices whispering and hushing. My head drifting to the side to lay against the cold which bit at my skin like it was seeping into my skin.

Then my body never felt so light all of a sudden and I was lifted up and felt like I was floating by as I was put down. 

As I was pulled away, people surrounded me. As I got further from my fall place, I could see red where I had laid, then slowly I felt how badly my head hurt, it was like I was suddenly reminded of how it actually hurt. My body was buzzing like static, but my head felt like a dull metal was being shoved slowly into my head with repetitive swings.

Then darkness.

Then light again.

A man stood over me, someone held my arm extended out and they wrapped something around it which slowly felt more and more compressing.

A woman shone a light in each of my eyes then the man brought a wipe to my head and wiped the drying red off that had dripped down onto my forehead. I wondered who this was. At first I thought it was my father. It was the first thing that came to mind, a man that was by my side while I'm hurt, must have been my father. But then I recognized he was one of the people at the rink. I felt like the world was spinning again, and suddenly it was darkness again.

When I woke up, I was in the ICU. 

The man was sat in a chair and I came to find out he was just a guy at the rink warming up before the hockey session started and he was the quickest one to get over to me. He wanted to make sure I was okay and I had no one else with me at the rink so he just stayed by.

They had called my father after I told them his number, and the man left. 

My father said he was going to come get me.

But hours passed before my brother was the one who came and got me.

So why didn't you come see me in the ICU? Too busy unpacking? Or was it that you were too distracted by your new girlfriend that we moved there for?