some stuff thats happened (sorry that i have the grammar of a 7 year old <3)

okay so today i will be talking about somthing that happened between something that happened between me and one of my ex friends. so read it all because it sounds really bad at first.

so i just got back from a vacation to my families cabin. and im like just waking up the day after so i check my phone bc thats what any normal person would do. and i see a notification that my friend (we are gonna call her evan bc i am NOT doxxing their name <3) evan texted me on tt. and said 

(this part sounds really bad on part. im not justifying myself but most of this stuff is either not true or stretched to sound worse) like "elle i tried so hard to be your friend but i cant. you always make fun of my intrests and fat shamed me. your the reason i wanted to die this year. i know you werent the only one but you were one and that isnt okay. you left me out this year too. so im sorry to tell you our friendship is over." it wasnt exactly this but this was basically it. i texted her that i was sorry and that she was a good friend.

i definetly wasnt the best or nicest person this past year, but i know that i never fat shamed this kid. even if i did it was probably an occasional "biggie!" she also told me that i didnt help with her body dismorphia, and actually felt so bad. like i cried for 2 hours. and she would say it back and smile. and yes, im not going to say i was the most inclusive the past year. i definetly left them out a lot. but i am going to say that i did apologize and i had her over a few times. i would drive her to school in the mornings every once and a while, and i think i also had her over for dinner once on a school night (which was CRAZY because my parents dont normally allow that). i also tried to do a duo halloween costume with them but evan actually ditched me to be with her other friends. and i used to talk about her online like we were bestfriends. but she would only post about this one girl that she wanted to be BESTFRIENDS with, and i kinda hurt. so my thought process was that she didnt want to be that close and i wasnt doing anything wrong. also for making fun of her interests? yes i did, but i thought i was doing it in a friendly teasing way. and she would make fun of my interests as well. and we would both laugh about it. the thing is, if i knew that these things were bothering her i wouldve stopped. but she didnt say anything. im not evil. i wouldve stopped and apologized. 

i hate how they acted like they were completely innocent. she called a gay girl the f slur and genuinely hit her. we were both in strings (like violin and poo) and she put my rosin in the art cady thingy and left it there for weeks. my mom was so mad at me. and she acted like it wasnt a big deal. she would always ditch me for other people so i made new friends. where was she in 5th grade when i had no one? 

but this really wasnt the part that made me the most mad. she blocked me on tt and started posting trash about me and this other girl. this wasnt anyone elses problem but ours. and she posts it on her public account with like 500 followers. i didnt post anything. 

okay im getting lazy but im gonna make a part two soon xx

-elle