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I don't know what I'm doing. I feel like a fledgling thrown off a cliff and expected to fly like a professional.
I'm thankful that I live with my parents (having a roof over my head during these harsh times), but they are narcissistic, immature and too proud to even teach me anything. So, I'm pretty sheltered with no friends nor work experience and college is pretty useless. I'm scared of loud noises and I'm a picky eater (some other trauma).
I don't know how to pay bills and I've never been taught to drive properly without getting yelled at for tiny mistakes that are supposed to be progress. I can't understand the basic criteria without getting overwhelmed. Shamed for my need of childhood nostalgia after having been through crap that caused my depression and anxiety.
I'm too scared to call a doctor, but then again, I don't know how to have insurance or even pay the self pay machines at a stores. Worst of all, I don't like socializing because of a deep fear of humiliation and bullying since Pre-K.
I feel like a kid but with an adult body. I'm healing yet I feel so lost at the same time. I don't know what to do as a 22 year old. I'm too slow and naive.
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DJSnappers
I’m nearly 30 and I dont feel like an adult yet. But theres no rush, your schedule is yours, and its okay that it looks different than someone else’s.
Thank you for sharing that 💛
by mini✿minty; ; Report
mostlyhairnbones
I mean you're older than me but I don't think anyone ever really feels like an adult. It's an impossible ideal we periodically dip in and out of and I think that's a good thing. All my life I strived to be taken seriously and be independent; long story short, a bunch of stuff happened to me as a kid that I think made me overcompensate a lot. But I struggle to enjoy things and ditch the pragmatism to be curious and to enjoy just living. I feel like I always have to be productive and I feel a lot of shame when I'm not.
I think it's okay to feel helpless sometimes, it's just that we live in spite of these moments. Sometimes asking why or cursing the circumstance isn't valuable and we just have to make do and trudge on.
One of the things that saved me from my own struggles with mental illness was having a job. Not even like a difficult job, just doing cashiering. Depression led me to ask why of everything while being thrusted into the responsibilities of a job and talking with customers kept me from my own thoughts. Whatever you have to do, you have to get over the weight of your own personhood. I hope something in here helps, you're a lot stronger and more capable than you probably think you are.
Thank you so much for the comment and it's like what the other commenter mentioned, we have so many expectations and standards that it feels like we're failing at some point. I'm glad that you were able to find something to keep you going. Also, sending some strength along your way as well. It's always nice to get different point of views💛
by mini✿minty; ; Report
drzks124
i feel the same way. by the world standards i should have already done a thousand things that im yet to do. i wish i could say it gets easier with time, but probably its not the case
And with the economical stuff, it's even more difficult to have a a proper meal or a dream home. It's downhill with how it looks
by mini✿minty; ; Report
like they say, you could choose to see the glass half empty or half full. but it's up to you (us)
by drzks124; ; Report