so, hi! i’m lucia and i think it’s important to state my mental health issues, since a few of them are quite romanticized, while others are extremely negatively viewed.

so, i have audhd and extreme ocd, both of which are fairly “destigmatized” (in quotes for a reason i’ll explain later!), and lots of people do understand what it’s like to have those, or have lots of sympathy and understanding.

however, i also have histrionic personality disorder, a cluster b disorder characterized by an EXTREME need for attention and EXTREME attention seeking behavior, basically basing your personality off of how you think you’d get the most attention.

destigmatizing

lots of people want to destigmatize mental health, wanting people to be free to get the help they need without extreme judgement or an impact on their life. this is a wonderful goal, and i have nothing but respect for ppl who TRULY want every (or most) mental illnesses to be destigmatized in this way. i do believe that everyone deserves to get help without the fear of ruining their life, and deserves people around them who understand and try to accommodate their struggles.

this is something that has happened a lot recently, notably with autism, adhd, ocd, and depression. people are extremely understanding and forgiving, and will be quick to talk about how important mental health is.

but, this can become a problem.

romanticizing

romanticizing comes in when people want some mental illnesses, or when they see them as some attractive or desirable trait. for example, i’ve seen many people say they “want” ocd, because they want to be more neat or organized, without fully realizing what ocd entails.

this happens with lots of conditions, and i’ve seen this happen a LOT with bpd recently, but since i don’t have that, i wont speak on how harmful that may be.

however, at least for ocd, this is incredibly hurtful. i am so incredibly paranoid on a day-to-day basis that i can barely leave the house, i need to check locks constantly, and i never truly feel safe. but people romanticizing it as being neat, being organized, or being meticulous really harm the perception of it, it takes so long to explain to someone what my ocd entails and what support i might need, since the people who romanticize it have popularized this idea that ocd is just some want to be neat, not an overpowering illness.

lack of care

frankly, many people who claim they want to support people with mental illnesses or want to destigmatize them, simply don’t care at all.

i’ve had so many people claim to be ok with my hpd or want to help me with it, but if i’m ever too attached, exhibit attention seeking behavior, etc., they turn their backs or get annoyed/angry. this isn’t excusing my behavior! obviously i understand not wanting someone who’s quite manipulative and attention seeking as a friend, it genuinely makes sense. what doesn’t make sense, is claiming you want to destigmatize illnesses and support those who have them, while turning around and doing quite possibly the worst thing you could to do someone with hpd who you claimed you wanted to “help”.

i don’t expect everyone to be accommodating for everything, you just can’t be. i don’t expect everyone to like me or be able to deal with me. what i do expect is for people to tell the truth, to mean what they say. be honest with yourself and with whoever you want to support, don’t drop them when it becomes too much.

i know it seems like i have lots of vitriol with this, but ive had friends commit suicide because of lack of support from people who claim they supported those with mental illnesses. it does real harm to lie and fake your support for people.

the romanticization of certain conditions being branded as “destigmatization” is extremely damaging, it means that some people will be seen as deserving of respect and support in our society, while others deserve to be stigmatized or disrespected, since they don’t have the mental illnesses that we consider to be destigmatized.

conclusion

i know this is a long and rambly and sort of angry sounding post, but i feel extremely strongly about this, and i don’t want anyone else to lose their life because they believe they’re so broken that they can’t even be accepted by people who claim to support mental health.

if you want to do something about this, stand up for people. if you see someone romanticizing, stop them, correct them as best you can. be mindful of how you speak about certain illnesses. and most importantly, don’t lie. be honest about if you can support someone or not, it’s understandable to not have the mental capacity to support everyone you meet, but it isn’t understandable to lie.

thanks so much for reading <3 this is extremely important to me, and i hope you learned something or at least understand my viewpoint.