Voice call mute-ness ????

I feel so bad for my friends and my own boyfriend for being fucking mute on call like how do i fucking talk i feel so akward idk how to spell arkward sorry 

like you cant see my body language and facial expressions to determind my mood and also I CANT TELL IF YOUR MAD AT ME OR NO/???? I FEEL SPECIAL FOR LIT BEING SO SILENT ON CALL

its so embrassing how the fuck do you spell embrarssin g 

i dont think im good for my boyfriend for being such a stupid idiotic person who cant do conversation on call

not only that all I DO IS FUCKING MEOW hellooo???? no hellos from me actually more like "meow"

i am such a loser and need to go speech therapy again or smt wdym when as soon as i presss that accept button my high-level human communication fucking gets sucked away to the point i have to communicate through morse code from muting/unmuting myself on call FUCKK OFF 

now i feel like my boyfriend is mad at me im not gonna reply till i drink myself away