My crazy weird dreams

I always have the weirdest dreams at night. 

Last night, I had an insane dream that me and my friends hit the woah... and for some reason there was this big dragon that we had to drown in lava so we could all be free and float around in space safely. 

I also had a backrooms-like dream once. It was really scary... my friends and I were in this house and we could leave whenever we wanted... but there was this certain room that just beckoned me to stay. Eventually, I left the house, but the room was horrifying in a way that only lured me closer.

And the night before last night, I had a dream that I was in the recess field of my elementary school. I was 8 again, picking all the pretty flowers when some kids were playing soccer and hit me in the stomach by accident. I didn't have the best elementary school years, so these boys just laughed and kept playing. I didn't mind. The sun was shining, the trees providing shade and letting the sunlight peek through the leaves.

I look into the distance, and I see my mother, crouching on her knees and feet. She was the way she used to be... profoundly strict and observant. Yet she called my name and told me to come closer. I did. My subconscious mind revealed to me how much I truly miss my mother, because I ran into her arms, crying like a little kid. And she only held a motherly embrace, kissing me and telling me she would make sure that I was okay at all costs. I was so happy.

She pulled away eventually, held onto my cheeks and told me that it was time for me to wake up, that I have to be strong for her. I immediately became lucid, and tears welled in my eyes. I realized then that I was only dreaming, and my mother wasn't there. But she told me to get out of bed and do something good for myself. To forgive her... and to break away from her and go on with my own life... yet still remembering her and loving her. I remember the shine in her brown eyes, watching as everything fades to black... and then waking up. I wanted to go back to sleep. I wanted to see my mother again and sleep all day.

 I've grown scared of the life I have to live without her. But despite every part of my body aching to go back to sleep and see her again, I remembered why I had the dream. Because it was almost 2 in the afternoon, and my subconscious mind didn't want me to sleep through the whole day just to escape the reality of everything. So, I got out of bed and roller-skated through my neighborhood, trying to have that spirit that she wanted me to have. To move on.

I think I have moved on. Almost.

<3