Eating carrot sticks in the dark

What's the difference between a mole and a groundhog? The pain of opening your eyes and seeing the light that is a bit too bright. Just like carrots sticks eaten in a dark closet, only the pain will give you realization. 

Wait, was that last carrot stick I ate a finger? I didn't even feel any pain because I was contextually thinking of my fingers as carrot sticks, which cannot feel pain (once divided from the stalk, which provides sentience) . However I now feel a profound sense of loss, is it because I have lost my dignity, biting my own finger off eating carrot sticks with ranch dip?

Current mood: Total ambivalence

Current outlook: Manifest Destiny