i do miss him . i miss what he brought to my life and now theres an absence

like the title says. its hard now because he filled a role specifically that i could turn to and seek reassurance from, in a way that you cant with friends and family. take for instance, at night when the day slows to a stop and i feel the weight of the whole day upon me, and i want somebody to comfort me, even its just telling me to not worry. could be the same for feeling bad about my looks, or for something ive done, or for any situation. somebody who doesnt holdd any judgement over me or any other biases, just love.  im worried i will struggle to find somebody again. that ill come on too weird and just fall to start a new relationship in a typical fashion, unlike how i did with him. i hope he is okay, havent feel too guilty this past week or so but it still does hurt when i really think about it. he is still a good kid but i had to do what i did for me and for him