I HATE MY LIFE

I AM AT MY GODDAMN BREAKING POINT IN THIS EARTH THAT I WILL ACTUALLY OATH TO KILL SOMEONE IN THIS FUCKING CORPORIAL REALM

MY MOTHER IS A GIANT ASSHOLE AND SHE SHOULD DIE, SHE HAD AN ARGUMENT WITH ME JUST FOR A LITTLE GODDAMN THING LIKE FORGETTING TO WASH THE PLATES

NOW I HAVE FUCKING BRUISES IN MY ARMS FOR NOTHING AT ALL THIS IS FRUSTRATING AND I WANT TO HANG MYSELF AND JUMP OFF A LEDGE AT THIS POINT BECAUSE THIS FUCKING WHORE WANTS TO RUIN MY LIFE FOR SOMETHING INSIGNIFICANT I CANNOT HANDLE IT MY MENTAL HEALTH WANTS TO END ITS LIFE SUPPORT AT THIS POINT AND TIME, ITS LIKE I WANT TO CUT MY WRISTS UNTIL I PASS OUT FROM HOW MUCH HATE IM FEELING THAT IS IN COMPREHENSIBLE 

I AM SO ANGRY AT THE WORLD RIGHT NOW I CAN'T EVEN EXPRESS IT WITH MERE EMOTICONS, I HAVE MULTIPLE BRUISES THAT DO NOT HEAL, A WEAK MENTAL STATE, THE ONLY THING STOPPING ME FROM SELF HARMING IS MY BEST FRIEND, MY FAMILY DOES NOT CARE ABOUT MY SAFETY NOR MY MENTAL HEALTH FOR THAT MATTER THAT LEADS ME TO BE AN EMOTIONAL WRECK LIKE MY MOTHER WHICH I DESPISE SO MUCH, SHE SHOULD THINK OF KILLING HERSELF BEFORE I COUGH AT HER DEAD CARCASS IN A FUNERAL KNOWING I'VE MADE HER WITNESS ABUSE BY MY OWN HANDS.

ITS MAKING ME LIVID FROM HOW MUCH I WANT TO EXAUST ALL THIS ANGER INTO THAT WOMAN'S THROAT I HAVE MENTAL ISSUES TOO AND SHE WANTS TO CALL IT OFF AS ME BEING MELODRAMATIC, ITS INSANE. I CANT EVEN TALK TO A COUNSELOR ABOUT THIS BECAUSE MY MOM WILL GASLIGHT THEM, I CANT EVEN TALK TO A THERAPIST SINCE MY MOM WILL GASLIGHT THEM TOO, IT'S ALL ABOUT GASLIGHTING AND HOW USELESS THE MENTAL HEALTH SYSTEM IN MY COUNTRY IS, IGNORING CHILDREN AND TEENS WITH STRUGGLING ISSUES AND MAKING THEM BE ABUSED BY PARENTS TO "CORRECT THEM" I HATE IT.

I RUE THE SOIL I STAND ON FROM HOW MUCH I HATE THE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE, THE ONLY PERSON I TRUST WITH MY FEELINGS NOW IS MY BEST FREIND AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO, I DONT KNOW OE CARE ENOUGH TO CALL MY RAMBLINGS A MANIFESTO OF SORTS THAT WILL FUCKING DROWN IN ACENINE FROM ALL OF THIS

I WANT TO MURDER I WANT TO SEE THE BLOOD AND PISS SOILED IN THEIR UNDERWEAR AS A TOKEN OF ACHIEVEMENT FOR ALL TO SEE, LACERATING HER SKIN IN GASOLINE AND MAKING IT ALL THE WORSE FOR SHIT I DIDN'T EVEN DO.

IF YOU SEE THIS BLOG, OR EVEN BOTHERED TO READ IT THANK YOU, BUT TO MY MOTHER, I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL 30 YEARS LATER, BECAUSE I DON'T WANNA SEE YOU OR YOUR PRESENCE NEAR ME IN THE FUTURE .

Signing off

— HZ