jul 3 25

wow haha.... it's been another three months..... i haven't gone here since april...........

things with that guy i met in march were going really well up until mid may when we had some miscommunications and then he broke up with me on the 31st. so i've been coping with that. it's been tough. we had plans to have a life together; we wanted to go to college together and get married, have kids, buy a house, etc and that's all gone. and i'm not sure what to do with myself. it was short lived but we connected so well and i really thought it would last :(

but again. i've been coping ok. filling my time with music and running and drawing.

the week before he broke up with me i went to a choir concert with him and almost got hit by another car. this time it was his asshole ex-friend, who for some reason really hates his entire group, including me. we were walking through the parking lot of their school and this dickhead in his shitty soccer mom van reverses out at us, fast as fuck, and skids off like he's cool. it was hella scary and i don't even know why.

school ended pretty well. i saw some friends for the last time before they moved or graduated, and had my final choir concert, and did a lot of cramming for finals and makeup work from the last quarter lol. not fun but it worked.

now i'm doing summer school and sweating my ass off. the work is easy as fuck because it's only 5 weeks long and they want students to graduate lol. but i'm getting through it.

been writing lots of poetry. maybe i should start transcribing it in my journal because my google doc is getting really long and it's not very functional anymore to scroll for ages to get to the bottom to start up a new piece.

i've been reading a little too, mostly rereading books from a few years ago but i plan on getting through my pile of unfinished books and starting some new ones.

also next month is my birthday!! i'm finally turning 17 :) a few weeks before that i'm going to ethel cain's concert in seattle with my parents!! i'm so excited, i love her music and her whole vibe.

also i know about the discourse about her morals going on right now and i think it's so stupid. the tweets being talked about are almost a decade old and she's obviously changed as a person, and everything else is so far fetched that it barely matters at all. and why are we upset at her for dating her boyfriend? i personally feel concerned for her safety rather than assuming she condones his actions.

anyways yeah i'm looking forward to the concert!

also deftones is dropping a new album just before my birthday so i know what i'll be listening to the day of! super excited. the single they put out last week has really strong diamond eyes/koi no yokan vibes to me and i love that era of their music so i'm hoping the rest of the album is that good.

i've been thinking of getting a camcorder recently, one of the little colorful ones with the flip-out screen and wrist strap. they're just so cute and i've always liked the idea of filming things. specifically for music videos but just in general it sounds fun! like filming on a phone feels different. plus i don't have much storage so yeah.

anyways idk that's been life lately. not super interesting but yeah.