Venting 12-8-21

Ya know, it's truly hilarious how true it is that the more things change the more they stay the same. I've somehow reverted back to the 13 year old version of myself. I'm just as tired, just as bad a keeping friends, an just as unmotivated to live as i was then. for FIVE FUCKING YEARS people have been telling me to hold on, or that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Its all bullshit. I'm not in a tunnel i'm falling down a bottomless pit, but i just want to hit the bottom already, but im stuck here perpetually falling with no end in sight....