How to Dress Without Caring (and Look Like Yourself)

"I didn’t stop caring to be cool. I stopped caring because I moved so often I never had time to catch up. every city had a new code, a new uniform, and I never had the instructions. so eventually, I gave up trying to follow them and realised I didn’t need them in the first place.

If you’re trying to let go of other people’s expectations, but still want to feel like you when you get dressed, here’s what actually helps:

• get used to being slightly misunderstood. people might not get your outfit, but that’s fine, you’re not dressing for explanation.
• stop dressing for the ‘idea’ of yourself. dress for how you feel that day, not for the version of you you think other people expect.
• notice what you reach for on bad days. that’s probably your real style. or at least a hint to what comforts you.
• don’t justify your choices. Someone asks why you’re dressed like that? shrug. “I felt like it.” that’s enough.
• realise the outfit you regret least is usually the one you felt most like yourself in. not the one you dressed up to impress.
• accept that some days you’ll look weird. that’s part of it. style evolves through mistakes.

• start with colour. what colours do you feel good in? build around those. for me its cool toned pinks, light blue, cream, white, black, and deep red. I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about greys.
• find a silhouette you love and wear it to death. long skirt girl. giant blazer guy. little shirt and big trousers combo. repeat it. no shame.
• save outfit photos, not of others, of yourself. catch the ones where you look like you.
• notice the textures you love touching. soft cotton, linen, leather, fleece, silk. let that guide your wardrobe.
• make uniforms. you’re not boring for repeating things. you’re iconic. my uniform will always be the black skirt, tights, loafers, and some top combo. its my safe option.
• shop like you have amnesia. ignore what’s trendy. If you saw this in a thrift store and had never scrolled Pinterest, would you still want it?
• let your clothes be a memory map. what you wore when you felt beautiful, or strong, or invisible in a good way. Keep those pieces close.