bad trip extended

yes yes i know its cringe and gay to do weed and start being scared

let me speak

so i went to college and took my edibles there, bc my dad was home at the time so i didnt want to make too much noise since the edibles r in plastic baggies

one hour goes by. im chilling bc i think i have like 2 or 3 hours till they kick in, like last time

they kick in. and they kick in hard. my heartrate jumps up, i can suddenly hear everything in the room, and im deathly scared that everyone knows im high.

i dart off to the washrooms and try to collect myself. im sweating too and my heart is pounding in my ears. i try to calm down and i text my bff. im noticin that i cant rlly focus on more than one thing-- if i type i see nothing but the keyboard (so i was making a bunch of typos lol), if i looked up at the board in class i only saw the board, the rest of the classroom melted away. 

i was still scared every1 knew i was high so i tried to look normal. my lips n eyes were twitching, i didnt know how 2 position my mouth, n i kept thinking ppl were staring at me.

i kept thinking and thinking and thinking, coming up with all these pretty metaphors i cant remember anymore, thinking abt the universe n shit, thinking deep n philosophically. its like i was having visions from a being of a higher plane.

finally class ends and i run off to go home. idk why i waited so long to go home, my dad would have left for work even if i came back from college as soon as i arrived (its a 1hr bus ride roundtrip) and idgaf abt skipping class. even then i should have left class as soon as it kicked in.

i was texting my bff until now but then i started to feel too overwhelmed so i put the phone away. while i waited for the bus and got on.

i tried listening 2 music to calm myself but that didnt do anything. for a while, i was so in tune with it. i could practically see the instruments being played, especially the drums. i dont remember why i stopped listening to music tbh, but i did like it at first.

i kept dozing off i think. i even fell on the gross ass bus floor in front of everyone, i think someone asked me if i was okay when i got off on some bus stop that was def not the right one. i'm not sure, it all felt like a bad dream.

i walked about half an hour home, got undressed and back in my pjs, then conked tf out. i was asleep for abt 2 hours and when i woke up i was feeling way better. I still had a headache and was mad sleepy, but i powered thru it bc my parents were home now and they COULD ABSOLUTELY NOT know i was not only high, but acted like a tweaker on the way home, skipped class, and had a bad trip.

its mostly embarassing. i was so excited to turn 19 bc then i cld do weed, but then i donk it up 4 myself by taking way too much on a mostly empty stomach in a public place. it should be common sense to not do any of those things and yet there i was eating shit on the bus.

i feel way better now, but im worried that someone from the bus took a video or smthn, or theyll recognize me and press me on what happened. but that hasnt happened, so i think im good.

i'll try again with weed later, maybe after i make up a midterm i missed (so 2 weeks from now) but 4 now i want to stay away lol

TLDR: dont do weed in public.