why is everything weird?

it feels like i'm just existing

i mean shit, can i exist AND be present at the same time ? everything feels so fleeting it's so drainniiingggggg.......don't know what to do. can't process it properly because there's just so much going on maneeee i just want my mom to hug me and tell me it's gonna be ok and that it'll actually be okay instead of her just trying to comfort me in my time of despair. really......

the world around me seems to move fast and i just can't keep up like i used to. it's a humbling experience that one. .... i'm just dragging behind because of one thing that led to a butterfly effect in 2019 :) it haunts me til this day, everything i do seems to be a result or reminder of why it turned out this way. so crazy. loL! i'm sad :(

i'm on this site for some peace from all of the noise...started looking for sites exactly like this where it reminds me of how quiet everything was when i was little. the only worry i ever had was school, homework, early bedtimes, 'my 3DS died!'/'mom, your iPod died!', waiting for my favorite artist to release a new song and whether my cousin was coming over or not. yeah. that. the calm before the storm. if i could? if God took me with Him right now and told me, "my Son, i'm giving you a chance that you've wished for so many times....you can go back to january 1, 2007 and you can relive what you miss so much. do you accept?" i would say YES without even letting Him finish (respectfully). 

just a thought