angst already... what da helliante!

bleehhhh its not even that serious but for some reason, my anxiety sucks so bad lol

sometimes it just hurts feeling like you dont belong in a certain group or if someone hates you, when both of those claims r false, but god ever since a bad friend breakup last year i've been mentally spiraling and i feel bad about it all the time, like its the worst thing ever to happen to my subconscious because i dont wanna mess up again, i dont wanna make anyone uncomfortable and upset. so to a point i just... self isolate. everyones better off without me. so i dont wanna ruin that, but it hurts, feeling like the backdrop to a whole group of friends at times. 

so then my anxiety twists and turns that into something more serious instead of something thats just... there. no hard feelings, just an understandable thing. but then my head goes "what if its not actually!" 

either way those r just my feelings i feel so blegh for some reason i just wanted to vent those out lol