Dear Dad, a poem by Zev.

Dear Dad,
I have contemplated suicide.
It has sucked my pride from me,
Yes, I admit to you, I have contemplated suicide.
It has put aside my courage,
Sometimes there is a black hole in me that stretches wide,
So as I write to you, today, I admit the truth.
Dear Dad,
I have contemplated suicide,
While searching for something fresh,
That may dwell within me.
Dear Dad, I have contemplated suicide.
I realize it would carry weight,
As I leave you all behind.
I have not tried suicide,
In fear our dog will wonder where I went.
And yes, I realize that suicide would leave a damper on my name,
After I am gone.
The day I died,
The day I contemplated suicide,
Was the day I strolled into padded walls,
Psychotic voices riding on their motorcycles,
Leaving a hundred angels and a million demons,
Within the confines of my imbalanced brain.
Dear Dad, I considered suicide.
Rather than tie a noose,
I have chosen to commit emotional suicide,
Leaving each and every room I leave electrified.
Dear Dad, at times I wonder if my suicide would be justified,
But just know,
I would be alright, with those that have gone before me.
Dear Dad, as I have contemplated suicide,
Each dawn that rises leaves behind a tortured soul,
Trust me when I say,
I will sleep like a baby tonight.
Dear Dad, I am tortured, with labels.
I am a tortured soul who knows not one soul,
That would offer a way out,
Allowing me to sleep like a baby tonight,
While I contemplate suicide.
I wait around,
For an answer to appear,
In my suicidal state.
Dear Dad,
I have contemplated suicide,
And I cannot decide,
Whether tonight will be the night everything goes awry,
But I am satisfied, in this very moment,
For suicide is not an option,
I must persevere.
But...
Will I?