Into the mind of a girl with BPD

What Is BPD? 

BPD is a condition that makes it hard to regulate emotions. Meaning I experience emotions intensely. life can become pretty difficult to live a normal life. Difficulties that lead to impulse, bad relationships, Intense emotional responses. Sometimes struggling with self regulation causes behaviors such as poor decisions, and self harm. 

its estimated that 1.4 million of the adults in the U.S have BPD. Almost 75% of those people diagnosed are female. It's suggested that men are equally effected by this, but is commonly mistaken as PTSD or depression. 

There are many symptoms of BPD. Many such as: Extreme efforts to avoid abandonment from friends or family real or imaginary. Unstable personal relations that bounce between "I'm so in-love!" to "I hate them!". Which is commonly known as splitting. impulsive behaviors, that can be dangerous. self harm. Chronic feeling of boredom and emptiness. Intense uncontrollable spouts of anger that often follow with guilt. And Dissociating.

What causes BPD? It is not fully understood what causes it. Although scientists think its a combination of the following factors. Genetics, Environment factors and brain function.

My experience with BPD

 My experience with BPD has been rough. Ive struggled to regulate my feelings and emotions for a long time. I was medicated for a while until my dad stopped them because he believed I no longer needed them. I have self medicated with MJ since I was 17. I have high highs and low lows. When I experince highs I feel as if im ontop of the world, I have a god complex, and I get hyper sexual, I truly feel like nothing could go wrong. But when Im low its a nightmare. I throw tantrums, I want to harm myself,. I feel as if my world is crashing. I get extremely angry, I cry a lot and do a lot of destructive things. Ive been unmedicated for the past 10 months since the end of my last relationship. Im ready to get help. im ready to get control of my life and stop destroying my life. Today starts the journey of the first day of the rest of my life.