blog (7/7)—watching lovely complex, coding & more

this isn't technically my first blog but it's my first *actual* blog which is technically meant to be a diary-life documentation what's going on in life & how i feel. 

unfortunately i don't have much interesting to say and no pictures to post because well, honestly nothing much goes on in my life. my social life outside is just as poor as my social life on the internet. what's been going on? well, just a whole lot of no feelings but also so much at once. oh and, watching shows i guess. and thinking about doing things instead of actually doing things.

lately i've been watching lovely complex. it's an anime about romance between a tall girl and short guy. their dynamic was very engaging to watch more than i thought it would!! i think i will make another blog giving my thoughts on the show, because i have quite some things to say but i don't have anyone to tell them to. but just to go on about an episode i've watched without spoilers...

if you've already watched lovely complex then you know when The Moment happens but oh my god. the gasp i gasped. i felt as if my breath was being taken away for a solid couple seconds. had my hand to my mouth and everything i was SHOOK i was!!! oh my god!!! my heart started fluttering and i needed to take a minor pause from binge watching it...

that moment also reminded me how much romance can be so impactful, even for just a moment. the tension, the build-up, the intimacy... woar. i've just been reminded that i want to write some romantic stuff. like at least a scenario or extended prose. but i've also been reminded that romance in my life would be pretty cool. having a charming short bf i can also be bros with is a nice thought to have but i'm so short that i couldn't have a short bf. i'm as short as someone my age can be without having some condition stunting my growth. which i could've had that teenage romance in high school, and not be so ridiculously short, but life isn't fair i guess.

things i've been thinking of doing but not actually doing !!!!!!:

• learning a new language. technically i *was* learning a new language, which was french in my earlier years of high school (i took french twice), but i wasn't consistent in learning the language after i stopped taking french classes. so unfortunately i've forgotten about many things i've learned about french, and many things i know about french are just a vague memory at this point.
  
  was thinking about using an app to help me study french. but i have nooo idea which one(s) and i've been so stuck on that. duolingo is an option, but while i was trying to use the app a little after i stopped taking french classes, it honestly didn't help that much. what i thought at the time was how off-putting that it didn't teach more of the basics, like idk teaching you how to pronounce letters, before giving you just. random sentences. i might try it again, but i don't know what other app i should use
  
  
• making blog(s) about coding. i keep thinking about coding css like, a lot. but i also keep thinking about how much it can be hard to try figuring out how to make your own original layout when you're starting out new without having that much knowledge on coding in the first place, because there is a lack of guides on the basic codes that can customize spacehey's layouts and tips when it comes to coding on here. not only there is a lack of guides, but they are buried but other blogs soooo much 
  
  it's gotten to a point that i have kept a few notes about my coding process/codes i've used for the sake of helping me with the complicated process that is coding. so yeah. been thinking of that. but like also i'm not a good explainer or anything like that so a post like that would. take a while methink.
  
  
• watching new media! i am always thinking about watching media. movies, shows, short films. i've been slowly trying to make it a hobby at this point to watch media, particularly because i love trying to analyze things but also Think about things. 
  
  i'm trying to build up my watchlist!!! if anyone got any recs then give them to me!!! but other than that, i just put "to be hero x" on my (mental) watchless. i am lowkey surprised that not more people are talking about this animated show, as it not only is reminiscent of arcane's art style that so many people love, but also is dependable on the audience interacting with a voting system!!!
  
  
• reading!!! i need to read but i never really feel too motivated to read... which makes me feel not that cultured. i'll only read a few pages then just dip!!!!!! for weeks!!!!!!!! im pretty sure its an attention span issue....... but i desperately need to read for the sake of inspiring my own writing and improving it. ill accept tips to help me read more consistently but also i think that i probably just. have to force myself to keep reading when i feel like i can't read, which is a bit hard to do..lol 

well anyways. i will continue watching lovely complex and try to figure out what to eat. goodbye and have good times!!! be well !!!