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have you ever had a "crush" on someone you knew, whether it was an acquaintance or your best friend, simply because you were desperate for some affection and needed someone to fixate on to ease the desire? that's how it is with me right now. dealing with one of my friends blocking me for no reason (with whom I thought I had a flirtatious type of situation with), I constantly think about this one guy I knew from my friend's 4th period. I think about us going on a date, him driving, cigarettes after sex playing on the aux, the highway lights lighting up our faces in the dark, laughing, leaning over the passenger seat to kiss him. and the crazy thing is that, like I said earlier, I only think about him like this because there is no one else to fill the void in my life. I take the fact that he instantly responds on Instagram and deliberately twist it into some romantic fantasy that he cares about me. It's kind of messed up to do that, but what else is there to do when you've been painfully single for 18 years?
2 a.m. thoughts
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Ayano
That's pretty much my every crush. Limerence fills my heart every time I meet someone new that has even one trait I'm attracted to. When I have noone to obsess over I feel empty and useless. I collect pop tabs and my last crush gave me a bunch and that alone made me feel like they secretly liked me. They literally had a girlfriend as I found out later. Well, safe to say I'm the "from afar" type lover and that's why I don't get any.
the friend that blocked me got his gf freshman year 4 years ago when he rejected me when i asked him to winter formal and i still thought all these years later that he was into me (he told me he wanted to break up with her but now i think he led me on)
by wesdmnd; ; Report
he probably did lead you on. he wouldn't have rejected you if he was serious. but its been some years so it is possible he changed his mind about you, though I wouldn't bet on it
by Ayano; ; Report