the importance of being realistic: the dark side of gyaru

welcome welcome~! its time for another gyaru blog~! 

im so sorry for the delay!! i know i planned to post this yesterday, but i got sidetracked... anyway! a couple days ago, i posted a bulletin asking for everyone to vote on what the next blog topic should be, and the dark side of gyaru blew the rest of the options out of the water!! i had a feeling that would be the case hehe... 

thank you to everyone who participated! if everyone likes, i can start doing a weekly vote for which topic i write about? please let me know!

also, some quick disclaimers: i am not japanese, so i do lack some of the greater cultural context for japanese culture and society. however, i think as someone who is gyaru, its been my personal responsibility to do a lot of research, so i have learned a thing or two. i dont mean to step on any toes, so if i say something incorrect, please dont hesitate to correct me!

content warnings for p*dophilia, SA, dr*gs, misogyny, SH, and just general unpleasantness. this one is potentially pretty rough, so viewer discretion is advised. if you arent in the headspace to read this, i completely understand. hopefully i'll see you back for the next blog. ♡

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so, as ive already mentioned, todays blog is going to be about the dark side of gyaru! if you read my unpopular gyaru opinions blog, then you might remember my 5th opinion. if not, allow me to refresh your memory...

"5. gyaru is not the feminist subculture a lot of y'all think it is 

just walk with me. i see this idea being spread on places like tiktok that styles like yamanba were created by japanese women to get men to stop raping them, and thats only half the truth. yes, gyaru was created to go against the japanese beauty standard and their standards for how one should behave. it is a form of rebellion created by women, but it is nowhere near the paragon of female empowerment its been made out to be. japan is a patriarchal society. gyaru became hugely fetishized and objectified, made to be palatable for the male dominated media. many gals engaged in compensated dating, as a result of the consumerist mindset that permeated the space. many of these gals were teenagers, high school girls, feeling pressured to keep up with trends. many gals struggled deeply with mental illness, neurodivergence, alcohol and substance abuse, domestic violence, and other things in a society that actively discourages speaking up and getting help. many of them were runaways. gyaru is not sunshine and rainbows, a utopia of girlbossery and female empowerment. a lot of these girls were victims of society and the patriarchy. gyaru is rife with struggle and pain, and we need to be realistic about that."

i still stand by this opinion! if anything, i think my true feelings towards this are more than i lead on in the unpopular opinions blog. 

i think its important that we look at japanese society as a whole to get to the root of the dark side. what is the root, you ask? patriarchy and sexual repression.

at the risk of sounding a bit tin-foil hat, just walk with me.

japan is massively patriarchal, like to an even greater degree than some western countries. japanese women didnt begin working outside of the home on a large scale until the 1970s and 80s, something i briefly touched on in my gyaru 101 blog. even today, its still assumed that women will just become housewives even though they have careers. theyre expected to give up their career to be a wife and a mother. so, in the 70s and 80s with the emergence of bodikon fashion, which was largely perpetuated by young, unmarried, working women, we also see the beginning stages of gyaru.

coupled with that, we need to look at the repressive nature of japanese culture. youve probably heard of the japanese proverb, "the nail that sticks out gets hammered down." i think its pretty easy to glean the meaning: either you fit in, or society will force you to fit in. that is fundamentally antithetical to gyaru, a subculture that requires individuality, directness, and outward self-expression. for others, though, they adhere pretty strictly to the proverb. they must maintain a certain level of politeness, respect, and restraint. they must not rock the boat by being too frank, lest they disrupt the social harmony.

it is a fact that japan has a problem with sexual violence towards women and girls. in many stores that sell 18+ goods, there are men-only floors. there are women-only train cars during peak commute times, when groping, or chikan (痴漢, チカン, or ちかん), is at an all time high. japanese cell phones have a permanent, audible shutter sound for the camera app because upskirting is such a problem. prime targets for each of these crimes are school girls, and popular tropes in media include relationships between adult men and school girls, a demographic that heavily engages in gyaru. possession of CSAM wasnt illegal until 2014. the sexual repression of the japanese people has made japan a hotbed for sexual violence. in a place where its considered taboo to be too honest, why would people feel comfortable having constructive, healthy conversations about sex?

so, think about those things in relation to gyaru. an aggressively patriarchal society, and a repressive one at that. its no wonder gyaru would be commodified for the male gaze, and when something becomes commodified to that degree, it gets fetishized. 

there is sort of a madonna-whore complex around gals. gals, especially (ya)manba gals, are portrayed as promiscuous, loud-mouthed, dirty, improper women. gals are the whores in this equation. theyre unfit for anything other than being objects for sexual gratification. the "traditional" japanese woman is seen as quiet, demure, respectful, and nurturing. they are the madonnas. the madonna makes a good wife and mother, and that is her only value. men should want the madonna, because she has value whilst the whore doesnt. yet they harbor a sexual desire for the whore that they dont have for the madonna. in either case, the gyaru and the "traditional" woman are belittled to nothing more than sex objects. one is only good for sex, and the other has no value if she cannot be sexualized. so, men express their desire for gals by making them porn categories and pay to spend time with gals engaging in compensated dating, and then go home to their housewives. this is how patriarchy and sexual repression infiltrates gyaru.

we should talk about compensated dating as it relates to gyaru, as well.

compensated dating (CD), or enjo kosai (援助交際), is akin to sugaring. women and girls will go on dates and spend time with men, in exchange for money or gifts. like sugaring, engaging in CD can be willing/consensual, and kept purely transactional. it is not my intention to shame those who do it; however, it would be naive for anyone to think these activities are exclusive to adults, and dont include sexual activities. when it comes to gyaru, gals as young as middle school and high school engage in CD. they go on dates with adult men who know they minors, and many will be convinced to take the date further. many will also be coerced into appearing in adult videos. not only are these dynamics non-consensual as the gals are minors, but the reason they do this is either for survival, or other predatory reasons.

as i wrote above, many gals were escaping troubled lives. many of them ran away from home and became homeless. many struggled with mental illness and neurodivergence, domestic and intimate partner violence, personal substance/alcohol/gambling addiction or addiction in the home, self-harm, and more. japan is also a country that discourages speaking up and getting help, and often times, even bringing up the topic can alter how people view you and you will be looked down upon. many people escaping these situations, a lot of them being children, feel thrown away by society. for people literally running for their lives, CD and night work feels like the difference between staying afloat or drowning. many turn to gyaru as a safe-space, and while gyaru can be that for many of us, that doesnt mean the subculture is exempt from being predatory at times. 

gyaru is consumerism at its finest. you are constantly surrounded by fast fashion and makeup gimmicks. speaking personally, there is always a feeling that i need to buy something. i need to buy this new eyeliner to improve my make, i need to buy a new set of nails, a new pair of shoes, a new top for a coord, hair products. there is always this urge to buy, buy, buy, and it has been this way in the gyaru subculture forever. brands put out new, mass-produced "must haves" daily. magazines push certain items, even designer bags and shoes. a high maintenance lifestyle is glorified, and there is pressure everywhere. as adults, we have the ability to think critically. i have the wherewithal to say, "no, i think i wont buy this." but for a kid, this pressure can be very real. the pressure to look cool and show off is very real.

gyaru is very loved by minors, and i know i have a couple of younger teens reading and interested in gyaru, so i want to speak to those of you that fit that description directly.

i want you to picture yourself: you see your idol with a designer handbag, and you just gotta have it. but you dont have the money. mom and dad definitely wont give you the money for it, and your birthday and christmas is so far away. you could get a part-time job, but that'll take forever! by the time you save up the money, the bag will be old news and the next big thing will be 10x more expensive! you go to your friends, distraught over not knowing what to do. your friend says, "i know a way to get the money quickly." you ears perk up. "if you go online, there are tons of guys who will pay you a lot just to go on dates with them!" that part creeps you out a bit. isnt that like prostitution? plus, youre under 18... "no way!" you friend says. "i do it all the time, and they never ask me to do anything like that. besides, if people look at you weird, just say he's your uncle." if your friend says its safe and okay, then that must be true. she helps you arrange your first "date". you go, and its alright. its a little awkward, but the man is nice enough, and you try to laugh at his jokes and make conversation. the date ends, and your friend was right. he never asked you for anything or acted weird. he gives you the money, and you can finally get the bag you were dreaming of! still, you decide its a one time thing. but a few months later, you see something else you really want. you mull it over, and decide to go on another "date". it should be just like last time, quick and easy money. but this time is different. the man is really touchy and makes you uncomfortable, but you try to get through it. by the end, he shorts you. "if you want the rest, why dont you come to a hotel with me?" you dont want to make him angry and take all the money back, you earned it! so you say yes. when you get to the hotel, he hurts you and does horrible things to you. but he gives you the rest of what he owes you and more. you can get more than you even wanted in the first place with this. and you cant report him, who would be on your side? plus, if you do, your parents will find out and youll be in major trouble... you decide to just never do it again. until the next time. you tell yourself it wasnt that bad, it was only that one time, this time youll choose the date carefully so it wont happen again. but it does happen again. and the cycle continues.

if youre thinking to yourself, "god, youre so dramatic. who do you think you are, my mom?" no, i dont. i want you to realize that this might seem like a cartoony, fictionalized scenario, but it isnt. as a young teenager, i often found myself thinking, "well, if my life falls apart, at least i can resort to sex work." i had a plan to become a sugar baby as soon as i turned 18. this might be a shocking mindset for some of you, but these are real thoughts i had. in my under-developed brain, i truly thought these were good, sound ideas. and im willing to bet that a few of you have similar ideas, or have been in situations like the one i described. thats why i want you to think.

this isnt exclusive to japan. young girls all over the world are exploited like this through no fault of their own, and it can happen anywhere. predators look for gals/guys, scene kids, goths, anyone. it doesnt even have to happen in person/irl or be introduced to you by friends, you can be approached online by strangers or just stumble across things very easily. horrible things can happen to you online, as well. the pressures of a subculture, especially one like gyaru that requires such dedication, can be difficult. and they can lead you to scary places if you arent careful.

i dont say any of this to scare people away from gyaru, or to paint it as a big bad that exploits women and girls. there are ways to stay safe, to engage responsibly, and a community to get support from. as a whole, gyaru is safe, and i actually encourage people to get into it. but we need to be realistic about the hardships and the bad parts. if we do that instead of ignoring them and sugar coating everything, i think this community could be a lot better for it.

i'll end this with a couple of PSA's from Nuts magazine, just for fun since these topics can be heavy. the images and translations come from these posts: 1, 2

i edited them as needed for grammar/punctuation/removed some stuff, so the content here differs slightly from the original posts. anyway, i really like these PSA's. i think they speak in terms that gals can understand and relate to, or at least i do.

(Source: Nuts 2004, 9 real cases from readers) 

The drugs that are always around us are a No-No! 

1. T. (21, freeter [meaning she does occasional freelance work/day jobs]) got introduced to cannabis through a guy and became a habitual user. Stopped working, has poor memory and gained 12kg in one month. Says all her senses became extremely sensitive and sex felt so good she would do it with anyone. 

2. R. (19, freeter) became addicted to methylphenidate when working in the sex industry. Using it at first when not feeling motivated, she feels foggy and unable to get out of bed when not taking it. 

3. C. (18, freeter) did get into contact with cocaine when clubbing. As a regular user she spends 20.000 to 30.000 Yen per night on the drug. Gets violent when the effects wear off. 

4. P. (22, student) tried heroin after problems with her boyfriend and someone telling her it would make her happy. Could not get out of bed anymore or eat after one time use. 

5. A. (18, part-time worker) regularly inhaled paint thinners when younger because it was cheap and easily available. Has hallucinations, memory loss even directly after people tell her something and slowed thought processes. It also melted her teeth. 

6. M. (18, student) often took MDMA because it made her bubbly and everyone seemed cool to her. Would have sex with random guys and wake up at houses she could not remember going to. Has stopped and regrets having behaved in such a disgusting way. 

7. L. (21, student) was introduced to LSD by her ex-boyfriend. Hallucinating after taking it, she one time left the house and was hit by a car. Has stopped since then and also has regrets about having had abnormal behavior. 

8. S. (22, freeter) took methamphetamine. It made her paranoid about people watching her on the train and passerby's attacking her. Lost all friends due to behaving violently. Says anyone taking it should stop. 

9. K. (22, part-time worker) often bought and consumed magic mushrooms when they were still legal. Jumped out of her apartment on the third floor believing to be a ninja, breaking several bones, and drilled holes in her apartment walls. Also searched for an ufo in the riverbed near her house a whole night long.

(Source: Nuts 2005) 

The number of HIV infections among teenagers and people in their twenties is dramatically increasing. Are you one of them? If you have sex, get tested! 

Everyone wants to continue to have sex in the future, right? So you should go to have an HIV test! If there is nothing you can be assured and if there is an infection it can be suppressed with medication. The worst you can do is to leave it untreated! 

[General information on HIV, how it can get spread and how not follows. Notes 1 to 3.] 

The best way to prevent infection is to use condoms properly. Claims that the pill and diaphragms would also work are a lie! 

Note 4: [A graph that shows the rising number of cases.] While the number of AIDS patients decrease in other developed countries, they rise steadily in Japan. Patients in their 20s and 30s make up 60% of them. 

HIV infection does not equal death! So go and get tested! 

Note 5: Most tests are free and do not require insurance. It takes more than 60 days for a test to be accurate. So you should wait that long if you worry about being infected. Free tests are anonymous and do not require showing your insurance card. The time to get the results vary. If you are concerned, call to check. 

[The box to the right of it explains the test procedure, including the communication with a doctor in a private room and that no medical certificate will be given with a free and anonymous test. Below are free test centers in Tokyo and the note that hospital also do tests, just not free.] 

Note 6: If you get infected medication can slow down the onset of the disease. Being infected does not mean you will die. You can life a normal life as long as you don‘t develop symptoms. Important is to get a diagnosis from a doctor. Leaving it untreated is the most dangerous thing you could do! 

What about hospitals? 

There are specialized hospitals. The doctor who tested you will refer you to one. 

How much does the medication cost? 

From about 4.000 Yen upwards to 10.000 Yen. 

How long does it take to develop the disease? 

Up to 30 years. It is said that taking the medication daily will delay the onset by 2 or 3 times than when it is untreated.

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alright, this blog got way longer than i anticipated... i hope thats okay!! i also hope i didnt come off too preachy or high and mighty, that wasnt my intention. i just get a lot of questions from baby gals on multiple platforms, so ive become really passionate about trying to be honest about the reality of gyaru. i just think being honest about life in general is good, since even if these whippersnappers dont heed my advice, at least they have it in their brains lol. also, im an older sibling... i cant help myself when it comes to life lessons! anyway, once again, let me know if anything in my blog about japanese culture is off or misguided! any input is welcome, and i'll make changes if needed! also, let me know what y'all think about weekly topic votes! i already have my next topic lined up, so if everyone is interested, i'll start them afterwards! finally, if you like, please check out my gyaru discord inquiry! well, thats all from me for now! if you made it this far, thank you for reading!! i know this one turned out to be a behemoth lol.

remember, shido-chan loves you~!

kiss kiss~ ☆⌒ヽ(*'､^*)chu