Been feeling kinda depressed lately

Repost from bulletins

I mean I’ve seen worse but yeah idk if I’ve been doing too good, life’s alright fyi like there’s nothing really awful going on that’s truly burdening me but mostly I’m lacking motivation and energy to do anything anymore. I need to fix my sleep schedule. I need to get off social media. I need to stop feeling so insecure about myself. I need to start actually doing things again like reading or completing my work on time rather than leave it at the last minute. My eyesight has been getting worse, I can’t see much clearly within a few meters of distance now because I keep staying up on my phone scrolling through Pinterest or something. Instagram keeps beating me down, joining that site is probably the worst mistake I’ve ever done, I was slightly more happier when all I had was YouTube or something. I overslept a LOT today, didn’t do anything productive at all. I have school tomorrow as usual, maybe that’ll make me feel better because despite contrary belief the main thing I actually hate about school is waking up early for it, I don’t really mind being there. At school I only have access to my phone before I enter the gate and when I’m about to leave. The only screen I’m ever exposed to is the tv in my classroom but even then the teachers don’t use it all the time. And I get to see people, be it my friends or classmates, being around people makes me feel healthier somehow, being at home on my own does not but that doesn’t imply I don’t need alone time. Don’t get me wrong, school can make me severely depressed too but I don’t hate it as much as I think I do really. Idk man, I feel the repetitive cycle is restarting again. 

Feel like this is crucial information but I’m also growing fond of American Football lately (like the midwestern emo band, not the sport). Maybe that’s adding onto the sadness. Oh yeah I’ve also been replaying some songs from Jeff Buckley’s Grace. Feels like my Elliott Smith addiction all over again. If I’m not addicted to drugs then I’m addicted to the never ending yearning and self inflicted suffering.