this is a bummer summer

so it's already JULY and I have not done anything meaningful with my summer except get my ears pierced. 

my bucket list consisted of:

1. get my drivers license
2. dye my hair
3. get my 2nd ear piercing
4. lose 10kg
5. update my wardrobe
6. get a car
7. personality glow up
8. get right with God 

see this looks a little pathetic. even dyeing my hair would be a quick 123 yk? but no I have to rot in my bed, not showering for days on end and doing nothing. pathetticccc. lets go over how we're going to step up this month!

what's crazy is I've tried 3 times to get my license and I can't even get to do the test!! like there's no reason for both of my cars to have something wrong and for it to rain during my test like im pissed rn. but I guess that's God's way of telling me that im not ready yet. so I'll just wait until I have my own car and have practiced more. 

dying my hair will be tricky to do unless I get the dye without my mom knowing lolol. she doesn't want me doing it myself but like im not spending 10000 dollars to get my hair dyed again. it grew out and looks awful. so might just buy the stuff from amazon and do it when she's out of town lolol. 

ive been gaining and losing the same 5 kgs for 6 months because I give up and start binge eating again. BED is the worst thing to have. the fact that I can't let myself be hungry for a few hours and insist on having something in my mouth is pathetic. I gained 0.2 kgs after my 2 week binge fest and now I need to lock in. im planning on taking lax and eating OMAD again until I see change. I've barely been able to hit 10 k steps again because walking on the treadmill is worse than walking outside, but its way too hot and it's always raining so I can't do all that. I'll try pacing again but lord knows im gonna rot in my bed again this weekend. bed pilates >>>>

im just going to start utilizing what I have in my closet especially since I'm starting to learn how to sew! y'all won't be able to recognize me trust. thrifting and depot will be my best friends until further notice as I start using more accessories!! my mother called me basic and now that lives rent free in my bead lolol.

I have 2 potential cars in my back pocket so im not worried about that right now lolol

honestly just going to have to pray and do a phone, social media, and friend cleanse. im going to start prioritizing being fruitful and quiet and change how I view the world.

been lacking in all aspects. lacking in fruits, prayer, and bible study. I was close with God for an entire week until I gave in to sin and haven't been able to get back up. I have a lot of materials to study Thea bible and I believe once I start writing to God and repenting over my sins, I'll be able to leave the sinful cycle I fell into again.

now, will all of this be accomplished in 1 1/2 months? no. but I had 2 1/2 and I did nothing for an entire month. this is well deserved and I will start prioritizing my life a little bit more! wish me luck xoxo