Why love and fear should NEVER be together in a relationship

From your most early childhood, your caretaker(s) will be your first mentors in life. They are supposed to guide you, to teach you the basics on how the world works. They are the first that you will learn and get influenced from.

All children deserve parents but some parents don't deserve to have children.

Some parents may hit their children and call it "discipline", some parents may excuse their bad actions and abuse their authority figure, some parents may not accept mistakes and tell their children they are not intelligent, some parents may not be in the best conditions and be too busy trying to fulfill their own needs before their children's needs, some parents may not see their own children but a second chance for themselves and try to achieve what they couldn't by shaping their children and thinking of them as an extension of theirselves.

If you took a bunch of these behaviours, it could be catagorised as abusive.

But, what does the child learn from this first ever mentor?

Well, this child starts out with a misconception of love, associating love with fear.

This is very dangerous, but since the child hasn't really ever known any other concept of love, that is the only definition of love that they know.

The child thinks that these behaviours are excused, they learn that obeying to fear is respect and they learn that fearing someone you love is the norm.

This child is most prone to ending in an abusive relationship when they get older.

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When you love someone, you're supposed to feel safe, you're supposed to feel good.

The reason why love and fear should never be together is because when there is love there is no fear and if there is fear then it's not love.



Please, feel free to share any opinions and thoughts respectfully in the comments. Thank you.