Why am I always tired

I’m tired of the countless things that swarm my mind like thousands of honey bees buzzing their sweet words into my ears. All I can hear is the things they say. 

Then the temperature starts to drop and they come to me less. 

Without these words that make me work like the bee that the world requires. I fall behind. 

Until it’s warm again. 

Why do I bother with such things. Conserving energy within myself like a battery. 

Counting how much is left and measured tasks with how tiring they are. 

Leaving me alone. Was. Their worst mistake. 

My battery dries up sometimes before I even wake up. Leaving me unable to do my worker bee duties. 

I look down on myself for not being a robot anymore. My anatomic life was boring but a breeze. 

Doing as I was told and not thinking. Just floating behind my glass eyes like a lost soul.

I feel trapped in this brain. It’s so complex and ever changing. I could never keep up. 

The words were never the bees the buzzing was my own vibrations raking through my skull. All on their way out they leave me with invisible scars 

I’m tired 

I’m tired of letting people in just to have them rip through my skin and leave. 

I’m tired 

I’m tired of being scare to eat in my own house. 

But most importantly 

I’m tired 

Of always being the one who’s hurt 

Please I’m tired of screaming for the things I want. When others whisper and get their every need. 

Please I want to feel listened to and heard

Please I want the love I give out back 

Please I want to feel human 

Please I want to feel safe 

Please I want to feel important 

Please I want to be happy