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For the past year, I've been in a situationship. I know, I know.. why am I still entertaining these things at my big age? Well... I like him and this was something that was so unexpected and he still continues to surprise me with his compassion and attentiveness. Even the moment I realized I liked him was after he did a small gesture and I was in. I knew I had experienced a lot of toxic relationships from my family to romantic and platonic relationships, but his little gestures have been so refreshing to me. The bar might seem like it's in hell (and it probably is or was) but I appreciate how much I have learned from him about what I do want in a relationship, especially with communication.
So why aren't we together? Because he doesn't want a relationship. I am looking for a relationship, so I have to remind myself when he annoys me that it's not going anywhere (he hates when I say that). I am talking to other people and go out on dates so I'm not confined to him. I find myself comparing my other options to him which isn't fair because he's not even "in the running". I don't compare too hard just in the way when you're dating and you're weighing your options with who you can see yourself with. I think because we have such good communication and a good understanding of each other, that our bond has grown more than either of us expected. We have also had a few first with each other. However, he is a man and us ladies know they can be "ugh" sometimes so there are some behaviors that I don't like (I feel he could be using his time more wisely) which I feels like keeps me balanced and not pressed for a relationship from him.
I don't believe we will ever be in a relationship and I'm okay with that. I feel like this has been the healthiest thing i've been in during my adulting era. I wish I could go into detail about his conflict resolution skills because it's really that for me. I never feel bad for expressing myself to him and he doesn't get defensive. I appreciate this non-relationship but kinda relationship ting we have. I know a lot of people would look down on this but It's been so fun and eye opening for me. As of right now, I believe 10 years from now I can look back on this situation and think about the freedom I had to learn and live my best life in my twenties and focus on my career while having a healthy "partner" to go to for companionship when needed.
I feel like this is possibly an unpopular opinion, but situationships in your 20s aren't always a bad thing. Having a good healthy companion while still looking for your future husband but mainly focusing on yourself... it's really having your cake and eating it too.
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