Trying Not To Self Sabotage Under Pressure

Alright, I've started a production company so I can do things I love with people I love. We've got things in the pipeline, and we're hosting live music shows over the next few months as a way of getting our name out there. I even get to host these shows, which is exactly what I want to do with my life. 

Yet for some reason, over the last few days I have found myself just wanting to shut it all out. It's been a lot of work, and it would be a colossal waste of time and money to throw it away, and even though I'm usually very confident in all my endeavours, I can't help but feel a sense of dread that this just won't work out. It hangs over me like a cloud whenever I'm trying to work on new projects or promote them.

Maybe it's partially because of my difficult relationship with the internet. I have people who are very supportive of me, yet seeing most of our promotional material get little more than a couple of likes and comments across social platforms feels like an objective mark of failure to me. It seems like there's an awkward cycle for media success wherein you need eyes on your product, material, or content for it to be viewed as legitimate, but you need people to already be interested in what you are offering for it to get any attention with how dense the online jungle is. 

People will often say that it's easier than ever to make a name and career for yourself thanks to the internet, but if you ask me, it just makes it more of a lottery.