different life

i wanted to know if if i had moved to another city whith my mom last year, things would be better, different, if all this wave happened to me. Sometimes i wonder, what would my lifr br like if i wasnt me, if one thing had changed in my pastm would i be happier? Would i like to live, would i live and not have to survive on my own brain every single day? I wanted to live in another world, not be me, forget all that, or have someone who understand me, even if i dont understand my self.