Slow burn is all i want.- Elise

Slowing down is difficult. I always have the lingering fear that if we start too fast, we'll end quicker.

"I like you." Shit. I don't even know him. I've seen him and had a small crush sure. But that was a year ago. Does he even know me? Maybe he doesn't. I know him but does he know me?

"I do too. Let's get to know eachother first." I'll slow it down this is good. I'll know him and then if he still likes me maybe this can last.

"Ily" I love you. He said it first. I haven't even known him. We're still so shy around eachother. Do I say it back?

"Goodnight I love you." Why did I say that? We're just friends. I mean he started it though. Are we dating?

"She's my girlfriend." I'm his... he never told me. Not that I have an issue with it but I would like him to tell me im his girlfriend. So we're dating.

"I love you..." I said it. I didn't mean too. Maybe I'm moving too fast! We've only ever said that through text. This is real. I feel sick hearing those words.

"Me too." Okay? Wow. I mean i know its strong to say but he could've made an effort I mean he's making us move fast I hate it.

Our first kiss was weird. I felt like I was flying but it also wasn't a good kiss. Maybe I fucked it up. Maybe we shouldn't have kissed so early.

How'd it go to "Goodnight I love you" to nothing. I knew everything would've been different because of the distance. But I was willing to try.

I told my family about him. I told everyone about him. I've never done that till now. I was willing to go out of my comfort zone for him.

Once I finally started trying he seemed to give up. Had he grown tired already? I just want to tell him when I feel sad or like shit without feeling guilty. 

Why can't I ask if he hates me.

Even now thats its over, I find myself only meeting people who take it fast.