The Early Blurb 8

Good morning!

I only have like five minutes for an entry today so I'll try to make it quick. I was running behind time/routine/schedule wise this morning so thats on me, but to be fair I have to wake up at 4:45 every morning because I have a lot of stupid things I need to do in the morning before I'm fully ready for work. But everything is great because I got to have banana slices on my pancakes this morning, so thats awesome.

Unfortunately, even though the pancakes are amazing in every way, time savers, yummy, filling, etc, they may not be good for me to have every morning in the long run, so I might need to start figuring out a secondary breakfast to have in the mornings and save the protein pancakes for special mornings like mondays and thursdays (beginning and end of the work week), or maybe I'll forget this entire sentiment by tomorrow, who knows. I just look in the mirror sometimes and wish I could radically change my body into one that is more suitable for being active. It sucks real bad, to be active you need a healthy body, but to have a health body you need to be active. Its a vicious cycle I can't seem to break. *Especially* during the summer. I just wish one day I woke up and suddenly half my body weight was gone, and I'm going to clarify now that this means my percentage of total body fat, not some sick and twisted shit like getting both my legs chopped off, I know how movies work and I am NOT going to be apart of one like that. Anyway, the shit I would do...ugh. I think the first thing would be just going for a run. I love running to be honest, it's so freeing going so fast, wind in your hair, your heart pounding, I love it. But my giant triple D's tend to disagree with that notion. No matter what sports bra I've tried, I always get punched in the face when I run. 

I guess I just wish losing weight was like, solving some weird and convoluted mystery box. Like just give me a checklist of what to do and I'll do it man. I feel like so many bigger people like myself get made fun of for being big, but like, dude, I don't like it either!! Lmao

Sorry that this became a body image rant. I've been trying to practice self love and all that junk, but at the end of the day, sometimes I just wish it wasn't so hard to move and stuff. Although, tbh, humble brag, because of how weird my fucked up body is, being double jointed and like all the other weird stuff makes me fairly nimble for my weight. So I guess thats cool.

Alright, I've gotta get to work now. Have fun today. Be joyous. Later skater.