hide so they wont seek

tw// mentions of assault, eds, and mental health

you have taken everything from me
my pride, my spirit, my entirety

there's a growing weight on my shoulders
tasks feel like chores
school is now optional
worst of it all, i can't see myself anymore

i can't go without feeling stares
even if there isn't
i worry that there is

i walk faster
i lock doors
and close every blind
but i don't ever look back
in fear that they are near

favorite meals don't do any good
it's all tasteless
after all, my thighs are too big to eat today

i want to be nothing but a spirit
nothing to but a empty canvas
skin and bone would truly make me happy
that's what i'm told
that's all i've ever seen

skin also seeks stares
stares as what i fear
so i hide
hide in every piece of thick material and cloths

those stares do lead into hand
that same hands i hide from
his grabbing hands

so hide
hide myself
the skin
the bones
the fear
hide in his still lingering hands

if you follow these rules then it'll eventually be fine

we hide so they won't seek
it's ironic, isn't it

-jae