amazing sunsets & jumped turnstiles

my best friend of 10 years is moving countries in a week, meaning we've been trying to see eachother more often. tonight, we went sunset watching by the railroads not too far from my house, the heat perfect

I'm seeing her next week, our friendgroup having agreed to hang out, but because the parting gift I got her was a ring (alongside a written letter,) I wanted to give it to her privately, not to raise confusion. so, we get there, I tell her I'm thankful for the memories, and give her the gifts, to which she responds with a hug, a train blocking the setting sun while she holds the embrace

she never hugs me. she despises physical contact (she's a bit more open to it to me,) so this was rather big. it grounded me, honestly. it reminded me how much I'm gonna miss her, and how different everything will be

I biked her home afterwards, wishing to see her house once more. Wishing to see her face a minute more. we said our goodbyes at the door, and I wss back to thinking. it scares me to think this would be the last time I'd bike her home. scared bt the fact that soon, she won't be a 20 minute bike ride from me. she's my head. I don't know what I'll do without her, her mere presence enough to cheer me up. with who will I go watch the setting sun with, if not her?

I'll meet hundreds of people after her, but the mere thought of them not being her, not knowing what she knows, tells me I'll never get the same laughter endured stomach aches or touched feeling with them that I have with her.

she's promised she'll try and come back to me during holiday and the fall fair, so for now, I'll happily live on a promise if it means she'll come back go me semi soon. texting and calling isn't the same as hearing her voice, or staring into her eyes

she's genuinely so hhh

I love her so, so much.

fuck. not again.

(she wrote me a letter I keep in my pocket at all times. I reread it sometimes when the realization is too much to bare.)

don't mind the shitty quality, we stopped at 2 spots.