life is awful

I don't want to kill myself but I'm finding it really hard to stay positive about life as a whole. We treat each other so horribly, and we are all selfishly just trying to survive, me included. All of the issues in the world could be solved if we all just gave back a little to those who are struggling. But no, humanity is selfish and cruel. You could argue that it isn't, and life is just absurd and that's how it is. If that's the case why shouldn't I kill myself. I don't want to live in a world where people don't support each other. The mere concept of existence is enough to send me into a panic, so to deal with that while also being part of such an evil and selfish system that is harming both me and those around me is so awful. 

I can't relate to people my age anymore, I don't want to gossip about others, buy useless shit from massive corporations, use apps that actively make the rich richer, or compete in this fuck ass rat race for the rest of my pathetic life. I've never felt so depressed before and I never thought this would happen to me but it's so bad to the point where I can't meet and chat with new people without feeling this sense of otherness and dread. I'm only 22. I can't imagine how I'm going to feel 10-20 years from now. 

Nobody cares, I don't even know if I care. When I help others I do it so I feel good about myself, I would hate to die knowing that I contributed to some other poor person's misery. This has led me to live such a depressing existence, I have to compromise on my morals to have a social life and find friendship with others. I hate life, everyone lied to me and said it would be great. I wish I was never born, I am the result of broken fucked up people, and my parents are a result of more broken fucked up people. Now I have to carry this burden for the rest of my fucking life until I am brave enough to end it all or end up passing from some painful medical bs. 

Life is a scam I just don't know what to do anymore, it's getting harder and harder to distract myself.