Engagement rings

(Outdated, unclear)

For a while I thought having a big flashy diamond isn't necessary. I believe a lot of people think so, as long as it carries a deep meaning and looks beautiful.

But recently my mother told me, that being given a diamond ring isn't just about the diamond. It's also about financially proving you'd anchor down that much money into her and show you're truly serious about her.

It'll be the one ring you receive throughout an entire lifetime. Investing in a once in a lifetime thing seems perfectly reasonable and worth it to me.

And no, "Technically you'd receive multiple if you divorce?" Sorry, but that's the love of your life you're marrying. You should treat every lover as if they will be the only one, ESPECIALLY the one you're getting engaged to.

Of course, some people don't want to spend too much. But I still believe it should be special. That the person should have sat down and designed that ring, rock by rock, thought on it for an endless amount of nights, and let the commitment shine through. That's, personally, the bare minimum to show at least some effort. 

As for the diamond.. The point is that whatever you give in a relationship, is supposed to be the most beautiful, thoughtful, special and expensive thing ever. That diamond should be tiny in the grand scheme of things. You.. should want to give someone the whole world.

Back to my point. I personally believe that the default should be a well thought out diamond ring. And if you don't want it to be expensive AFTER having been offered that, that's alright. 

Unless it has a severe impact on your life as a whole, then it's not reasonable. It's still supposed to be a tad bit expensive though. These are engagement rings, not bottle caps you throw around. Gold bands, for example, aren't that expensive if that's the one thing you save for. At least here, as a working adult. 

^^^ Again, I'm referring to whether it has an impact on your life or not.

Sigh, in short. It shouldn't feel pressuring to want to give your lover the absolute best whether they ask for it or not. This feeling should come natural. But if they say they'd be happy with less after having been offered so, that's cool too. At the end of the day it's just about making them the happiest you can.

My entire rant was just about how a big shiny diamond (man I like shiny rocks) should be the default since it's already considered the best. I feel like people are just getting lazy not offering more options.

------- second part, about diamonds etc.

I'm aware a lot of diamonds are lab-grown, but I believe there's a big price difference, as natural ones are 2.5 to 3 times more expensive. They're separated from each other in any case... I also looked up the company you mentioned, and while they used to monopolise the diamond industry, their diamonds were legitimate. Apparently, they have a bad reputation due to having controlled the supply, which kept the prices of diamonds high. But nothing else. They're part of an organization called "Responsible Jewellery Council", and comply with third parties such as the "Kimberley Process Certification Scheme" and non-governmental organizations that monitor and ensure everything is ethical.

But that's beside the point since it's in the past, and they now only hold 29% of diamonds worldwide. It's second place to Alrosa, which is estimated to hold around 31%; however, I did see some numbers like 25-30%, so take this with a grain of salt.

The point is, even if they weren't a legitimate company, they don't have as much control over the market as they used to, and there are others from Russia, Canada, and Australia you can buy from nowadays.

Though I noticed some reports of gaps within the Kimberley Process Certification Scheme, I wouldn't worry, as all major companies are closely monitored and still subject to laws protecting human rights. If you notice anything and feel unhappy about it, you could always sue them yourself, but there's been no credible evidence so far.

I believe they pay more attention to the supply chain rather than the actual company, if anything.

As for moissanite gems they're extremely rare in nature, therefore, they are only found lab-grown in shops making them a cheaper option. Of course, they are similar to diamonds by what you stated about them, but I would only compare them to other lab-grown gems. Not all diamonds are lab-grown either way.

Ahem, although I have no opinion on lab-grown gems... I suppose there's more of a charm to things when they're natural, so I would start with that if I were to offer any jewelry. But if my fiancée were to prefer a more affordable option, I'd of course buy that instead for her.

So, starting high and going lower if preferred is my returning conclusion.

As for my sources, I googled whether De Beers is a legitimate company, looked a bit at their history, googled Alrosa, and checked whether moissanite gems are lab-grown or naturally occurring.